A lot of women tell me I am strong. My usual response is to screw up my face because I don’t think I am any different from many women I know. Well, not very different from all the other women who grew up in New Jersey.
To be honest, I think I’ve become a little more restrained than most of my fellow Jersey girls. That’s because after I left New Jersey and lived all over the country, I learned that many people don’t know how to deal with a full-fledged Jersey girl.
Jersey girls are different. All those female stereotypes women are supposed to identify with don’t apply to us. And we are dramatically different from Southern girls who mastered the fine art of “Southern Diplomacy:”
Telling someone to go to hell in such a nice way that they actually look forward to the trip.
Jersey girls can’t do that. We don’t have enough patience or tact. We prefer to be blunt, very blunt. But on those rare occasions when we do choose to soften our tone, you can bet our comments will be dripping with sarcasm.
You see, Jersey girls grew up in a fast-paced, densely populated state and that affected us. We learned to assert and stand up for ourselves because if we didn’t, we’d get run over. To survive we learned to be little bulldozers running around at 120 mph.
In spite of our tough reputation, Jersey girls have a lot of characteristics that all women can learn from So, to help you understand Jersey girls, I borrowed a few pictures from the New Jersey Pride Facebook page.
The world outside the Jersey borders wants to be special and popular. They want to fit in and be accepted. Jersey girls scoff at such notions.
Jersey knows its “guttery” reputation…and we don’t care. You may think that where you come from makes you sooo special, but we know the truth – it ain’t so perfect either! And we will gladly point out all of its faults if you need us to.
As a woman working in hard core male jobs, many guys didn’t want me there. But guess what? This Jersey girl didn’t care. And as for all those guys who thought they were hot sh*t, I took great pride in pointing out their failings.
Jersey girls are different because we are REAL and we can handle the truth!
We know the truth scares people a lot of people. So, we love to blurt it out at inopportune times just to see their shocked reaction.
Will they acknowledge and face the truth? Or will they run and hide? Their reaction tells us whether or not they are strong enough to handle running with a Jersey girl.
Being real also means we are adaptable and as contradictory as New Jersey itself. We can go from the city to the shore. From industry to the farm. From pizza and beer to glammed up for dinner at an expensive restaurant. All within minutes.
Who will keep up with us??
The contradictory nature of New Jersey’s landscape, culture and industry is embedded in us.
We can be incredibly sweet, soft, generous and caring.
We have fun Jersey shore nights until the early morning hours then we’re off to our favorite Jersey Diner till morning.
But , please pay heed to the third side.
In case you aren’t taking me seriously, here is another warning:
Hell, hath no fury like a Jersey girl who has been wronged. Hell can’t produce a storm as full of fire and fury like that of a Jersey girl on a rampage.
When President Trump threatened North Korea with fiery and fury the likes of which they’ve never seen, he wasn’t threatening military action. Instead, he was planning to send over a bunch of Jersey girls after lying to them that North Korea had great discount shopping. When the girls discovered the great shopping was actually in South Korea, the fire and fury would begin.
Beware of the Jersey girl who feels she or her friends were wronged. She will not stop until she gets her justice and revenge.
True confessions time.
I have a long list of former male colleagues who wonder who and how they got f*cked over.
It was me.
You tried to f*ck me over. But you didn’t know you were messing with a Jersey girl. I was quiet. I didn’t create a lot of drama. I just smiled as I cut off your nuts and shoved them down your throat.
BTW, that’s “New Jersey diplomacy.”
Jersey girls are best known for our opinions and our big mouths that we can’t keep shut. We will tell you exactly what we think whether you want to hear it or not. You can’t silence us by walking away, hanging up, closing the door or turning up the music. We will find a way to make you hear our opinion and deal with it.
And don’t ever try that “manterrupting” thing on us. We will just keep talking louder and louder until you shut up. Then we will give you that look that says “don’t you ever dare try that again, if you know what is good for you.”
Then there is that “mansplaining” thing so many women complain about. We don’t get it because no one “mansplains” a Jersey girl. A Jersey girl always knows what she’s talking about, as Mona Lisa Vito in My Cousin Vinny demonstrates.
One more warning. Just because our mouths aren’t running, it doesn’t me we are docile and submissive. The wheels in our brains are still turning.
We are planning how to get exactly what we want.
Jersey girls don’t need men to take care of us or rescue us. We can take care of things ourselves. When we ask men to take care of something, it is really a test to see if they know how. If they don’t know, then they won’t be around long (especially if they are our boss.)
Men are fascinated by Jersey girls and we know what they say about us in the locker room. Consequently, we get a lot of unwelcome attention by men who think they are man enough to handle a Ferrari. When they crash just backing out of the driveway they love to turn on us and blame us. But we don’t listen.
We just shove them back into their Prius or Minivan and blow a kiss as we drive away in our 789-hp 6.5 liter V12. We know we need to leave fast because the only thing faster than our Ferrari’s 0-60 in 2.8 seconds is our temper which can go from 0-150% in 0.01 seconds.
People who don’t understand Jersey girls like to point out our flaws to put us down. But we aren’t afraid of our flaws. We accept them. Actually, we accentuate them – just to drive people crazy!
We can also spot a fake a mile away because we grew up with a lot of slick men coming out of the city flashing around their cash, jewelry, and fancy cars. We aren’t impressed cause we know they the truth: They aren’t rich – they are dead broke and up to their ears in debt. We send them back to the city with their tail between their legs.
So be wise and don’t ever BS a Jersey girl or play her for a fool. Don’t ever deny her the promotion or the raise she deserves. Don’t think you can get away with paying her less than her male peers. She will not stand for it.
All of this adds up to the unique attitude and the most identifiable Jersey girl quality:
We don’t take sh*t off of anyone.
Anyone.
We don’t care who you are or who you think you are.
All women need to know that being a Jersey girl is empowering.
We know who we are and accept who we are.
We know what we want and how to get it.
And most importantly we don’t let anyone or anything get in our way.
So next time someone tells you to “Lean-in,” tell them you don’t want to do any of that touchy-feely kumbaya Silicon Valley California stuff. Tell them you are going to Jersey-up and heading out to the shore because…
Tramps like us, Baby we were born to run (click)
-The Boss