During my career the first issue I dealt with in every workplace was that my male colleagues never worked with a woman as a peer or manager and didn’t know what to expect.
Their concerns hit the stereotypes – Is she competent and can she function in her role as well as a man?
Some men were concerned with my mental state – Will she be a bitch? Or too emotional? Or maybe too girlie and chatty?
The women in traditional roles who never worked with a nontraditional woman had their own concerns – Will she manipulate the men into doing her work or reducing her workload?
This question masked their real concern – How will her presence change the long established formal and informal power structure?
Everyone’s concern could be summed up by – How will her presence change the work environment and affect me?
These concerns caused many of my supervisors “to advise” my male colleagues of my hiring. My pending arrival sparked lots of conversation, especially as I rose higher in the workplace hierarchy. The discussions centered on, “How are we going to quickly assess what she is like?”
In other words – “What kind of TEST are we going to give her, so we can see how she reacts?”
Prior to my arrival or shortly thereafter, my male colleagues conspired to create or use an upcoming situation they thought would make me uncomfortable, put me off balance or challenge/intimidate me to see how I handled it. My reaction would then form their opinion of me and my suitability for my job.
When I was young and just beginning my career, I was warned to expect these tests. However, several months into my first job as an Air Force officer, I was surprised I wasn’t tested and I asked my male colleagues about it. Their response, “You were tested and all the senior NCO’s were really impressed.”
Really? When? What was the test?
As it turned out the test came during a training exercise when we practiced being ambushed. We had to jump off the back of a truck, hit the ground and roll. When my turn came, I jumped, hit the ground and rolled…through a watery mud puddle. I remember observing at the time that I was the only one who had to roll through a mud puddle.
I passed my test because I rolled through the mud without hesitation and then spent the entire day covered in mud from head to toe without complaining about being dirty.
That test taught me a valuable lesson – If I face every situation placed before me and take it on, I prove my strength of character.
I learned the right reaction is no reaction except to continue moving forward through the situation until I saw it though.
This is what distinguishes those who can lead an organization from those who can’t.
Did I ever feel singled out because I was a woman?
No.
I considered each test as an opportunity to distinguish myself above my male colleagues and set a higher standard.
I knew that my male colleagues faced their own tests in their careers – though probably only once and it was an easier test.
But by facing a harder test (according to male standards but not necessarily female standards) I earned the right to carry an attitude:
“I proved I can pass that test.
How well do you think you would do?”
Empowered Women Aren’t Afraid To Be Tested
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