During my career the first issue I dealt with in every workplace was that my male colleagues never worked with a woman as a peer and certainly not as their boss. Therefore, they didn’t know what to expect.
Their concerns immediately went to the stereotypes:
- Is she competent?
- Can she function in her role as well as a man?
- Is she a man-hating feminist?
Some men were concerned with my mental state:
- Will she cry?
- Will she be too girlie?
- Will she talk too much?
The women in traditional roles who never worked with a nontraditional woman had their own concerns:
- Will she manipulate the men into doing her work for her?
- Will the guys fawn all over her?
- Is she going to make me feel inferior?
Everyone was concerned about how my presence would affect them and the work environment.
How will her presence change the long-established power structure between men and women?
These concerns caused many of my supervisors “to advise” my male colleagues of my hiring. My pending arrival sparked lots of conversation, especially as I rose higher in the workplace hierarchy. The discussions centered on how:
“How are we going to quickly assess what she is like?”
In other words:
“What TEST are we going to give her, so we can see how she reacts?”
Prior to my arrival or shortly thereafter, my male colleagues conspired to create or use an upcoming situation they thought would make me uncomfortable, put me off balance or challenge/intimidate me to see how I handled it. My reaction would then form their opinion of me and my suitability for my job; an opinion that would forever stay with me and be shared with every man.
When I was young and just beginning my career, I was warned to expect these tests. However, several months into my tenure as an Air Force officer, I was surprised I wasn’t tested and I asked my male colleagues about it. Their response was:
“You were tested and all the Senior NCO’s were really impressed.”
Really? When? What was the test?
As it turned out the test came during a training exercise when we practiced our convoy being ambushed. We had to jump off the back of a truck, hit the ground and roll. When my turn came, I jumped, hit the ground and rolled…through a watery mud puddle. I remember observing at the time that I was the only one who had to roll through a mud puddle.
That was the test. Was I afraid to get dirty?
I passed my test because I rolled through the mud without hesitation and then spent the entire day covered in mud from head to toe without complaining about being dirty.
That test taught me a valuable lesson:
If I face every situation in front of me and choose to take it on, I will prove the strength of my character.
I learned that when tested, the best reaction is no reaction. I should just continue moving forward through the situation until I saw it though.
In time I learned this is what distinguished me as someone who can lead an organization through any adverse situation.
Was I ever upset that I was continually tested and needing to prove myself?
No.
I considered each test as an opportunity to distinguish myself above my male colleagues and set a higher standard. I knew that each test was a shortcut to:
RESPECT
In their careers, my male colleagues faced their own tests – though probably only once and it was an easier test.
But by facing a harder test (according to male standards but not necessarily female standards) I earned the right to carry an attitude:
I proved who I am.
How well can you do compared to me?
