by Dot Callihan | Jan 20, 2015 | Thinking Like Empowered Women
There are more articles going around about how women don’t speak up in the conference room – but this time there is a new twist. Now we are being told of new perils if we do speak up – we are viewed as being too aggressive and we will be looked at disfavor ably. So what’s the latest message? – We are damned if do and damned if we don’t.
I wonder if this latest finding is because women took the last bit of advice – that women should jump into the fray – be just as aggressive as the men in the room in getting their ideas heard. Since people don’t like aggressive women (or men) the unfavorable feedback is not unexpected. I still curious about the background (actual experience in the male-dominated conference room) of the people who write these articles because having your ideas heard in the conference room is a minor goal.
Being the “idea person” is good, but what really counts, is being the person who implements the good idea – being the leader who puts the idea into action and makes the larger objective happen!
In time no one remembers (or cares) who came up with idea – what they remember is who achieved the objective.
When you are in a conference room and the guys are being loud, voicing their ideas it not just so the boss will say “Bob that is a great idea – you get a gold star.” It is because they want to be selected to be in charge of implementing the idea.
In the logic of the male-dominated workplace, your male peers believe that if they can fend off their competitors they will be chosen to be the leader. In their minds the leader has to defeat competitors so that is why they are so loud. But this is NOT how empowered women should think. This is NOT what empowered women do. Empowered women stay out of the Blue Zone!
Empowered women understand that leaders are not chosen, they do not wait for permission – they just do it.
This is why I wrote my articles on the Power Seat – so you bypass all of the aggressive behavior (“manterruptions”) and go right into being the leader in the conference room. And the great thing about the Power Seat is that it you don’t have to come up with the idea – it is a perfect technique to “bro-opt” back the men!
I have always chosen the projects I want to lead prior to the meeting. I hear about a new objective and I start formulating my execution plan long before the meeting. I have already subtly picked everyone’s brains and rounded up the best ideas. That way when I pitch my idea I have Bob’s, Jim’s and George’s ideas incorporated into my plan – I have them on board with supporting my plan.
Leaders have the execution plan. And that doesn’t require aggression – it is having confidence in yourself a leader because you used the Purple Approach to develop your plan. And you know your plan will work much better than any plan developed by autonomy of your male co-workers.
And one more thing – advise from my friends – there is a way to stop “manterruptions” in a meeting. Just invite a woman over 50 to the meeting. When a young man gets loud and interrupts we have no problem saying in a commanding voice with a stern glare “Excuse me! Someone is speaking and you are being rude. Wait until she is done THEN you may speak.”
Empowered women know that having an idea is good, but implementing good ideas is how they build a career in the male-dominated workplace.
by Dot Callihan | Jan 14, 2015 | Acting As Empowered Women
When I start a new project or a new job I like playing dumb. I pretend I know absolutely nothing about how to do my job.
Is that shocking? It is so contrary to what we think we should do – we should always show our knowledge and that we know exactly what to do in any work situation. How else can we take charge? How do we direct our people and make sure everything is done right?
by Dot Callihan | Jan 4, 2015 | Acting As Empowered Women
When I think about teamwork, I think of a group of people working together to achieve a common objective. In teamwork each person has their role and they subordinate themselves and their personal importance to the larger objective. Teamwork makes us feel good about ourselves and our achievements.
Right?? Isn’t that what teamwork is all about?
Right?? Isn’t that what teamwork is all about?
I thought so, but recently I had a boss who gave me a different perspective on teamwork, one I had have not fully considered before.
by Dot Callihan | Dec 15, 2014 | Acting As Empowered Women
I started this website to teach other women the concepts I successfully used in my career. Little did I know that I preparing myself for my biggest challenge yet into the male-dominated workplace. I want to share this experience because I was in such an extreme...
by Dot Callihan | Jun 4, 2013 | Acting As Empowered Women, Thinking Like Empowered Women
When I entered the Air Force many years ago, I was told that I needed a “Sponsor” to help ensure my rise through the ranks. My Sponsor should be a higher ranking officer who was upwardly mobile. My Sponsor should also have a Sponsor who was a well-connected senior ranking officer who is on track for General’s rank. The trick to the system was picking the right line of Sponsors. At the very top of the officer ranks there were rivalries and the senior officer in your sponsorship line could instantly fall out of favor or lose status to a rival. If either of these happened, the entire line of sponsorship would suffer the consequences and once bright careers would be dead in the water.
The whole concept of sponsorship was to work the politics of the merciless up-or-out system.
In addition to a Sponsor, I also needed a Mentor. Sponsors and Mentors may not be one in the same. Mine were very different. The job of your mentor was to teach the ins and outs of doing the job. My first mentor was my supervisor and his career was in the toilet – but – he knew everything about everything! He mentored two of us and we got exposed to…well…the stuff you don’t see if you have to worry about politics. He was a cowboy who took risks and also took the hits as they came.
I always say that I wish everyone could have the same experiences early in their career as I had in mine. I learned soooo much!!!
But this system that I first learned was inherently male.
by Dot Callihan | May 22, 2013 | Acting As Empowered Women
I came across this story that a woman (Linda) posted on LinkedIn. It goes along with a lot of my recent posts so I want to share it with you. This is one of those stories that we like to pass on. And generally that is what we would do. But I want to take it one...
by Dot Callihan | May 17, 2013 | Acting As Empowered Women
I came across a statement I made in an article : The successful businessman is the Hero and the driver of our society.
If you are paying attention to the stock market, 2013 is proving this statement is true.
I don’t know what made me do it but on January 20th I turned on CNBC. That is about the time the stock market really started taking off. And I don’t know why I thought it but I thought – someone on Wall Street has decided to take over the economy and drive it. Someone has decided that Washington is dysfunctional, not going to do anything and so, they are taking matters into their own hands to end this recession. Someone is going out on a limb, with a balls-to-the-wall attitude. Someone thinks they have nothing to lose that the only other option is stagnation.
In the weeks that followed, that someone ignored all of the bears, nay-sayers, the multitude of critics and doom-and- gloom forecasters. They were successful – they made something happen. And as an added bonus the whole federal budget debate in Washington is negated.
With the economy doing well, the fiscal cliff is postponed from May to end of the summer? Into late fall? Sorry Republicans your side of the crisis is negated. Sorry Democrats, your side of the crisis is also negated – there is no need to raise taxes.
The Wall Street businessman is the Hero who saved our economy. And his reward is power!!
Ladies – this is an example we need to follow!!
by Dot Callihan | May 14, 2013 | Acting As Empowered Women
The Woman In The Room is one year old!! For me this is a milestone and cause to celebrate!
At work, how do you celebrate milestones and achievements? Are they subdued? Do you talk about doing something and then nothing really materializes? Who is responsible for or takes the lead in planning the celebration?
Thinking back over my career, I’ve had one manager who made sure we celebrated achievements and one who did a pretty good job. With the rest, ideas withered and died. Men seem to be generally uncomfortable driving these celebrations. Historically they have passed the planning to the admin staff.
I’ve always enjoyed putting together something big and fun. Sometimes women are reluctant to put together these events fearing they will fall into a stereotype and deep into the Pink Zone. To prevent yourself from becoming the office party planner, pick and choose what you want to celebrate. Knowing everyone in the office’s birthday and bringing in cake is different from finding the milestones that employees should have pride in achieving. Instilling pride and recognizing hard work is what a leader does. And you don’t have to be the manager to lead the celebration.
Here are a couple of things I have done in the past and after 12 years I will finally admit that it was me who pulled off one surprise event. Think big, think outside the box and use the event to energize!
by Dot Callihan | May 9, 2013 | Thinking Like Empowered Women
When I started my career there was a common saying about women who went into non-traditional career fields: “They are looking for a man or they want to be a man.”
Think about the two extreme options this statement presents for women. Our choices are that we are desperate to get married or that we have a gender identity issue.
Not too long ago the expectation was that once a woman married, she would soon become pregnant, quit working and opt for the life of a housewife. And many of my fellow female engineers (and STEM) did this. The top female engineering student at my college graduated a year early so she could get married! Even though she had her pick of jobs and was offered more money than any other student, she took an intern position with Junior League. We all questioned why she even got an engineering degree in, let alone do it in 3 years!
Over time I saw most of my female peers leave engineering and live more traditional lives.
by Dot Callihan | May 5, 2013 | Acting As Empowered Women
In my last article, The Woman In the Arena, I quoted an excerpt from Teddy Roosevelt’s “Citizenship In A Republic” speech that he deliver in 1910. When I wrote the article I looked up the entire speech and found another excerpt that has tremendous meaning for where...
by Dot Callihan | Apr 29, 2013 | Acting As Empowered Women
I like to express myself at work. If I had my druthers, I would start every day blaring a song that fit the mood of the day. But I was never quite able to put together a large enough sound system. So I found another method.
I started digging up quotes to fit the mood and plastering them all over. While I found many, my safety manager brought me this one from Teddy Roosevelt. It immediately became my favorite because it expressed what the project team and was soon posted in every office.
by Dot Callihan | Apr 23, 2013 | Acting As Empowered Women
One of the traits women are most credited with is improving collaboration. We get more people to open up and participate in conversations and problem solving. The result is a more complete solution to a problem.
Sounds great – in theory!
The issue many women face is that collaboration isn’t valued. Collaboration goes against the company’s driving, hard charging, make it happen culture – it is sissy stuff. In these environments the merit of an idea is based upon how hard the promoter is willing to fight for and drive his solution through. If you are not willing to fight hard for your idea, then it couldn’t have been a very good one.
Even in an environment where men are less contentious, they may already have their minds made up as to who they aren’t going to listen to, whose ideas are going to be shot down even before they are voiced. They know who is going to be shut down and shut out of all discussion. They are very good at enforcing the shut out.
For women getting their ideas heard in these environments is hard enough, let alone getting men to listen to each other and discuss all ideas.
So what’s a woman to do – how can she make a room full of men collaborate?
by Dot Callihan | Apr 20, 2013 | Thinking Like Empowered Women
Have you ever noticed years that singers have their biggest hits when they sing songs that they pick or write themselves, not what the industry tells them to sing? They do best when they connect with a song to express who they really are.
When I think about this Garth Brooks always comes to mind – not quite country and not quite rock. He didn’t try to fit into a music industry genre – he created his own. There is something energizing and powerful about that.
Being around a lot of women entrepreneurs lately, I noticed that women start businesses that are an expression of who they are. Their businesses have a meaning or purpose to them. Women personally connect with their businesses.
by Dot Callihan | Apr 16, 2013 | Thinking Like Empowered Women
Monday morning I was finishing up this article as the news came on about the Boston Marathon terrorist attack. I decided to re-write it since I talk about a study I did on terrorism several years ago.
Back in 1985 when I was an Air Force 1st Lt. I had a project dumped on me. Originally it was assigned to someone else but they dropped the ball leaving me 6 weeks to complete a 4 month project. My assignment – conduct an Energy Vulnerability Assessment to determine the mission impact if a terrorist disrupted the water, electricity and/or natural gas supply to Minot AFB.
In a bit of a panic I called the project’s manager and explained my situation hoping for a time extension. He told me not to worry, that this was a preliminary idea gathering study and there would be follow-on work.
After talking to him, I had an idea. What they really wanted to know was if terrorism could impact the base’s mission. Could terrorism keep Minot AFB’s B-52’s and Minuteman missiles grounded? That would require taking down the command and control system.
by Dot Callihan | Apr 12, 2013 | Thinking Like Empowered Women
I never really liked my tag line “Empowering Women for Success in the Male-Dominated Workplace.”
To me it sounds kind of blah-blah, boring typical professional language. I always felt it was missing something – that it wasn’t exactly hitting the mark of what I needed to say, but I haven’t known what was off.
Sometimes as I am writing my articles I find myself reading my words and saying “Blah, blah, blah, blah,” same old stuff. I then trash it and rewrite using the words and expressions I like. Over time I have noticed that what I am rejecting is all of the professional words and thoughts that have been drilled into me throughout my career. They just seem so freaking dull!
Why are they so dull? Because they are male! I want to express myself as a woman and women have emotion! We have vibrancy and enthusiasm!
by Dot Callihan | Apr 8, 2013 | Acting As Empowered Women, Thinking Like Empowered Women
Have you ever been called infuriating? I have – many times – “You are the most infuriating woman I’ve ever known!” Even though it was meant to belittle me, I take it as a compliment. My reply is simply “Thank you.” The scenarios in which I’ve been called...
by Dot Callihan | Apr 3, 2013 | Thinking Like Empowered Women
It’s hard for me to believe that after 30 years, women are still discussing working versus spending time with family – it is an issue we should have settled years ago. It’s actually very simple – do what you think is best for you and your family.
You don’t have to meet anyone else’s expectations.
You don’t need to justify your decisions.
Just be realistic about what you and your family really need.
I was part of the generation of working women who first got embroiled in this debate. If a woman didn’t work then she wasn’t contributing to the feminist cause. If she gave up working to stay home, then she was a drop out – she didn’t have what it took to have a career and was hiding behind her children to mask the truth.
Ouch! The criticism was brutal!
by Dot Callihan | Mar 26, 2013 | Thinking Like Empowered Women
It seems every discussion lately about working women is tied to the term “work-life balance.”
Having been there, done that – I don’t get it! I don’t know what the issue is or what point women are trying to make.
Are women trying to justify leaving work to watch the kids at soccer practice? Are they seeking recognition for carrying a greater load in taking care of their children and homes?
Or are they setting “work-life balance” as a higher moral purpose – as a rationalization to why we are not advancing up the corporate ladder?
No matter what the reason is, I don’t see women coming from a position of strength and empowerment in this discussion. It seems we are trying to justify what we are doing. Instead we should take a lesson from men and just do it!
by Dot Callihan | Mar 21, 2013 | Thinking Like Empowered Women
In my last few articles I’ve danced around an issue and now I am just going to put it out there.
Is corporate America using female employees as a ploy in their business development and marketing? And even worse, are women blind to it?
by Dot Callihan | Mar 19, 2013 | Thinking Like Empowered Women
I’ve looked at a lot of company websites lately and notice that there are a lot more women listed in the staff and corporate officer pages. Can it be – women are finally breaking through the corporate ranks?!! Being me, I always do a little more reading – where is the company headquarters, where are their key markets and critical clients. Then I start matching up this information to the staff and see who is running what.
I’ve noticed a trend. Yes! – Women are definitely running more corporate offices – in Timbuktu!
Is that a good thing or a bad thing?!
