Category: Acting As Empowered Women

  • How to Use the Rachel Letter To End Swamp Wars

    In the season 3 finale and the season 4 premier of Friends, Ross and Rachel decide to get back together.  But Rachel has one condition – she writes Ross a long letter in which she describes everything that went wrong with the relationship and Ross has to accept full responsibility.  Ross, anxious to get back together with Rachel lies and says he read the letter – twice – and agrees to everything in the letter.  As he learns what he agreed to he is unable to keep up the charade.  Ross finally comes clean and admits that he fell asleep reading the letter – it was 18 pages long – front and back!

    Women understand Rachel’s letter.  It is a pure pink female masterpiece – long, citing every incident no matter how trivial in exacting detail.

    Believe it or not our ability to write these types of letters comes in handy when working with men.  I have written several business “Rachel letters.”  It is one of the few times I get to venture towards the Pink end of the spectrum and frolic in my female characteristics with abandon.       (more…)

  • Shades of Purple

    When we discuss women advancing their careers we cannot assume that all women have the same challenges.  Our challenges are defined by who we are and the culture of our work environment

    I introduced the Purple Zone, as an evolution beyond thinking of men and women in terms of pink and blue stereotypes; to thinking of men and women with balancing characteristics.  When we blend male (blue) and female (pink) we create purple.  I would argue that most men and women are really purple – not a homogenous, androgynous shade but a spectrum of shades spanning from a pinkish Violet to a pure Purple to a bluish Indigo.  It is up to each of use to define our shade of purple. (more…)

  • How Your Male Co-Workers View Your Availability

    www.123rf.com 13852486

    Last week Meghan Casserly of Forbes published an article – Every Man You Work With Thinks You Want to Sleep With Him.  This article raised some eyebrows.  Is this true?  Do the men we work with look at us sexually even though we have platonic relationships?  And is it true that it doesn’t matter if we are in a relationship – they still think we want to sleep with them??

    Meghan has an attention getting headline and her article has some truth.  But it doesn’t explain what men are really thinking and how we as women can control this situation.  So, let me explain.  (more…)

  • Balancing Work and Family – Conflict For All

    Soccer Mom with KidsWomen discuss their work and family conflicts but we often forget this is not just a female issue.  The reality is that men today have many of the same family and work conflicts as their female co-workers. How many of your male co-workers and managers are divorced or have a working wife? Or have a stay at home wife who still expects her husband to share equally in raising the kids? Probably most of them.

    The difference with men is that they don’t talk about having to leave work for family responsibilities – they just do it – they just take off from work. Women however, talk about their conflicts.  So men mask how often they leave for family responsibilities and women don’t. (more…)

  • Men And Work Hours – It’s All About Image

    www.123rf 41808463

    When women entered the male dominated workplace we were confident we had the fortitude to climb the corporate ladder with our kids and family life slung over our shoulder. We knew we were great multi-taskers and time managers. So, there should be nothing barring us from climbing the corporate ladder to success.

    But as we started climbing the ladder, we didn’t count on the changes men were making in workplace demands.  Since the workplace is where men go to establish their status, they stopped valuing getting work done quickly and efficiently so you didn’t have to stay late. According to the new values, only expendable employees went home after 8 hours and worked a mere 40 hours per week. (more…)

  • How To Seize Recognition As A Woman

    One of the biggest critiques we hear is that unlike our male colleagues, we don’t self-promote enough.  We are told we need to let our managers know what we accomplish because that is what our male colleagues do and unless we do what men do, we can’t compete with them.  But this advice like so much of what we are told doesn’t work for us.  Why?  Because we are not men!  Self-promoting in order to gain recognition is a male approach.  We need to gain recognition using a female approach! (more…)

  • Stay Out Of The Blue Zone

    When women entered the workplace it was very male.  We assumed that the way men conducted business was the right way, it was the best way.  We had to fit into their way of doing things – after all that IS how business is done.

    That is the mistake women made – thinking that we had to play by men’s rules.  We were led to believe that we have to go into the Blue Zone in order to succeed in business.  As I keep saying in my articles, even today we are still told we have to act like men, engage men like men in order to climb the corporate ladder. (more…)

  • How To Respond To An Inappropriate Comment

    A reader wrote to me about a job interview in which the male interviewers made inappropriate comments. It brings up the question – what should we do in this situation? Our initial instinct is to get angry and tell them off but more often than not we don’t call them on it at all.  How do we find the appropriate response that makes us feel proud of ourselves? (more…)

  • Risk Intelligence

    I was watching the Dylan Ratigan show and he was interviewing Dylan Evans who wrote a book called Risk Intelligence.  Ladies, you need to understand this concept!  We are told that we don’t exhibit enough self-confidence at work.  Well, what Mr. Evans proves is that those who have all the answers, who project that they know what to do, are…ready for this…usually wrong!

    Wow, doesn’t it make you feel good to know that?! (more…)

  • Estrogen-Rich Environment

    I worked in an office where we expanded to occuppy two floors.  It just so happened that when we split the office the first floor was occuppied by men and one woman.  Likewise, the second floor was occupied by women and one man.

    I found some humor in this – finally, in the testosterone rich company environment, there was a space where estrogen dominated!  So, I made a sign and put it up at the top of each stairwell and at the 2nd floor elevator exit. (more…)

  • How To Use The Power Seat

    I introduced the concept of the power seat and told you how to find it in your conference room in my article Understanding the Power Seat.  Now it is time to learn how to use it so you can take lead a discussion and lead your collegues to better solutions. (more…)

  • High Heels

    I was working at an on-site construction office and I kept hearing rumors that I wore high heels to work.  I had 2 pairs I wore, one black and one brown.  To me they were  boring 2″ heels and definately not sexy.  They were “office shoes.”  If I went out on site, I had another pair of site shoes that I wore.

    One day while sitting in my office I heard another PM on the phone whispering “She wears high heels to the office.”  OK time to correct that misconception. (more…)

  • Understanding The Power Seat

    One of the most difficult things for most women to do is get their ideas heard when they are in a room full of men.  Men can be loud and assertive, if not aggressive, in order to shut down the ideas of others.   At the extreme a discussion can turn into nothing more than a competition to see who will win – where the original objective – to find the best solution – is lost.

    What is a woman to do in these situations?  Can she get all of this ruckus back on track?

    YES!!  (more…)