When I entered the Air Force many years ago, I was told that I needed a “Sponsor” to help ensure my rise through the ranks. My Sponsor should be a higher ranking officer who was upwardly mobile. My Sponsor should also have a Sponsor who was a well-connected senior ranking officer who is on track for General’s rank. The trick to the system was picking the right line of Sponsors. At the very top of the officer ranks there were rivalries and the senior officer in your sponsorship line could instantly fall out of favor or lose status to a rival. If either of these happened, the entire line of sponsorship would suffer the consequences and once bright careers would be dead in the water.
The whole concept of sponsorship was to work the politics of the merciless up-or-out system.
In addition to a Sponsor, I also needed a Mentor. Sponsors and Mentors may not be one in the same. Mine were very different. The job of your mentor was to teach the ins and outs of doing the job. My first mentor was my supervisor and his career was in the toilet – but – he knew everything about everything! He mentored two of us and we got exposed to…well…the stuff you don’t see if you have to worry about politics. He was a cowboy who took risks and also took the hits as they came.
I always say that I wish everyone could have the same experiences early in their career as I had in mine. I learned soooo much!!!
But this system that I first learned was inherently male. (more…)
I came across this story that a woman (Linda) posted on LinkedIn. It goes along with a lot of my recent posts so I want to share it with you. This is one of those stories that we like to pass on. And generally that is what we would do.
But I want to take it one (actually several) steps further, as I will explain after the story. Here is the story: (more…)
I came across a statement I made in an article : The successful businessman is the Hero and the driver of our society.
If you are paying attention to the stock market, 2013 is proving this statement is true.
I don’t know what made me do it but on January 20th I turned on CNBC. That is about the time the stock market really started taking off. And I don’t know why I thought it but I thought – someone on Wall Street has decided to take over the economy and drive it. Someone has decided that Washington is dysfunctional, not going to do anything and so, they are taking matters into their own hands to end this recession. Someone is going out on a limb, with a balls-to-the-wall attitude. Someone thinks they have nothing to lose that the only other option is stagnation.
In the weeks that followed, that someone ignored all of the bears, nay-sayers, the multitude of critics and doom-and- gloom forecasters. They were successful – they made something happen. And as an added bonus the whole federal budget debate in Washington is negated.
With the economy doing well, the fiscal cliff is postponed from May to end of the summer? Into late fall? Sorry Republicans your side of the crisis is negated. Sorry Democrats, your side of the crisis is also negated – there is no need to raise taxes.
The Wall Street businessman is the Hero who saved our economy. And his reward is power!!
Ladies – this is an example we need to follow!! (more…)
The Woman In The Room is one year old!! For me this is a milestone and cause to celebrate!
At work, how do you celebrate milestones and achievements? Are they subdued? Do you talk about doing something and then nothing really materializes? Who is responsible for or takes the lead in planning the celebration?
Thinking back over my career, I’ve had one manager who made sure we celebrated achievements and one who did a pretty good job. With the rest, ideas withered and died. Men seem to be generally uncomfortable driving these celebrations. Historically they have passed the planning to the admin staff.
I’ve always enjoyed putting together something big and fun. Sometimes women are reluctant to put together these events fearing they will fall into a stereotype and deep into the Pink Zone. To prevent yourself from becoming the office party planner, pick and choose what you want to celebrate. Knowing everyone in the office’s birthday and bringing in cake is different from finding the milestones that employees should have pride in achieving. Instilling pride and recognizing hard work is what a leader does. And you don’t have to be the manager to lead the celebration.
Here are a couple of things I have done in the past and after 12 years I will finally admit that it was me who pulled off one surprise event. Think big, think outside the box and use the event to energize! (more…)
In my last article, The Woman In the Arena, I quoted an excerpt from Teddy Roosevelt’s “Citizenship In A Republic” speech that he deliver in 1910. When I wrote the article I looked up the entire speech and found another excerpt that has tremendous meaning for where our culture and economy is today. I think this excerpt gives women a great sense of peace, purpose and direction.
In our current culture we are told that to be “successful” we need to aspire to become part of the plutocracy, to climb to the top of the corporate ladder. In my article “Should Women Strive For The Top 0.1%?”, I questioned why we should and if there is a certain amount of futility in it. Teddy Roosevelt, over 100 years ago, drive home my point.
Nevertheless,…there must be a basis of material well-being for the individual as for the nation, let us with equal emphasis insist that this material well-being represents nothing but the foundation, and that the foundation, though indispensable, is worthless unless upon it is raised the superstructure of a higher life. That is why I decline to recognize the mere multimillionaire, the man of mere wealth, as an asset of value to any country; and especially as not an asset to my own country. If he has earned or uses his wealth in a way that makes him a real benefit, of real use- and such is often the case- why, then he does become an asset of real worth. But it is the way in which it has been earned or used, and not the mere fact of wealth, that entitles him to the credit. There is need in business, as in most other forms of human activity, of the great guiding intelligences. Their places cannot be supplied by any number of lesser intelligences. It is a good thing that they should have ample recognition, ample reward. But we must not transfer our admiration to the reward instead of to the deed rewarded; and if what should be the reward exists without the service having been rendered, then admiration will only come from those who are mean of soul. The truth is that, after a certain measure of tangible material success or reward has been achieved, the question of increasing it becomes of constantly less importance compared to the other things that can be done in life. It is a bad thing for a nation to raise and to admire a false standard of success; and there can be no falser standard than that set by the deification of material well-being in and for itself. But the man who, having far surpassed the limits of providing for the wants; both of the body and mind, of himself and of those depending upon him, then piles up a great fortune, for the acquisition or retention of which he returns no corresponding benefit to the nation as a whole, should himself be made to feel that, so far from being desirable, he is an unworthy, citizen of the community: that he is to be neither admired nor envied; that his right-thinking fellow countrymen put him low in the scale of citizenship, and leave him to be consoled by the admiration of those whose level of purpose is even lower than his own.
This excerpt reminds me of the saying “with great wealth comes great responsibility.” It gives us a sense of purpose and great wealth a valuable meaning.
I have often wondered if the reason women aren’t clamoring to the top the top of the corporate ladder or to the plutocracy is because we find no purpose in it – when we get to those lofty positions we become too disconnected from the rest of society which is contrary to what women strive for. For us, this disconnection associates wealth with being low on the scale of citizenship.
But what if we take a different perspective – that we need to climb the corporate ladder and the ranks of the plutocracy so we can lead men there too. If we believe we have a moral obligation to keep our companies and the plutocracy connected to the real world then we must have parity within those arenas. We must work from the inside to ensure everyone remains good citizens of the community.
I know I have sat in many a conference room and listened to men sacrifice their values for either money or to make another entity feel inferior. I felt an obligation to steer them back to the moral high ground. This is why we need more women who understand this role in the conference room at all levels of companies.
With more women high on the scale of citizenship in all aspects of society, maybe then there will be less men low on the scale. As women that is our moral responsibility to our communities, our nation and our world.
Empowered women are high on the scale of citizenship and lead men to do the same.
I like to express myself at work. If I had my druthers, I would start every day blaring a song that fit the mood of the day. However, I was never able to put together a large enough sound system. So I found another method.
I started digging up quotes to fit the issues we were facing. I then plastered the quotes all over the office. One day my safety manager brought me this one from Teddy Roosevelt. It immediately became my favorite because it expressed what the project team faced every day.
THE MAN IN THE ARENA
Excerpt from the speech “Citizenship In A Republic”
delivered at the Sorbonne, in Paris, France on 23 April, 1910
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
Even though the words are written in a masculine tense, they apply to women as well. Women should have the courage to stand up for what we believe in, to go for what we want to and to make things happen. This is what life is about.
However many women were not raised to believe we can or should go into the arena; that women can be bold or courageous. But if we don’t go into the arena, then only men are the doers of great deeds and only they know the triumph of high achievement. We return to a paternalistic society.
The only way women will ever come into their own and attain their equality is by entering the arena and daring to strive valiantly.
Empowered women enter the arena.
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One of the traits women are most credited with is improving collaboration. We get more people to open up and participate in conversations and problem solving. The result is a more complete solution to a problem.
Sounds great – in theory!
The issue many women face is that collaboration isn’t valued. Collaboration goes against the company’s driving, hard charging, make it happen culture – it is sissy stuff. In these environments the merit of an idea is based upon how hard the promoter is willing to fight for and drive his solution through. If you are not willing to fight hard for your idea, then it couldn’t have been a very good one.
Even in an environment where men are less contentious, they may already have their minds made up as to who they aren’t going to listen to, whose ideas are going to be shot down even before they are voiced. They know who is going to be shut down and shut out of all discussion. They are very good at enforcing the shut out.
For women getting their ideas heard in these environments is hard enough, let alone getting men to listen to each other and discuss all ideas.
So what’s a woman to do – how can she make a room full of men collaborate? (more…)
I have – many times – “You are the most infuriating woman I’ve ever known!”
Even though it was meant to belittle me, I take it as a compliment. My reply is simply “Thank you.”
The scenarios in which I’ve been called infuriating are always the same – a man is trying to intimidate me.
Years ago, I was hired into a company that had just bought another company. A female manager I supervised who had been part of the old company wanted my position. She was very upset she didn’t get it. She rallied the other male manager I supervised to fight her battle for her.
God, was he obnoxious!
He openly threatened me, challenged me and refused to do things according to the new procedures. Together they spread rumors that I was incompetent. But I didn’t back down. So one day he came into my office and went off.
I just sat back in my chair, looked at him and said “You need to leave.”
After several weeks, I finally got clearance from HR to discipline him. I called him into my office and stood in front of my desk while he sat in a chair. I explained the problem and told him that he had to either get on board with the corporate changes or I will force his departure.
I told him the choice was his: “Get on board or there’s the door.”
He started to yell at me. I didn’t react. I simply repeated and motioned “Either get on board or there’s the door.” That is all I said. I probably said it five more times before he screamed “You are the most infuriating woman I’ve ever known!”
“Thank you. Now you need to use the door and leave.”
A few weeks later, I went to his office to give him an assignment which I knew he would challenge. I stood in front of his desk and told him what needed to be done. As I expected he challenged me. Then he did a body language power play.
He pushed back in his chair, leaned way back and opened up his chest, arms and legs – you know the position. He was trying to make himself look really big and intimidating.
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But there was just one problem.
The way he was sitting back pulled his pants really tight across the crotch area leaving nothing to the imagination. And right there, front and center, was a hole just below the bottom of the zipper. I could see his tighty-whities through the hole. I started to laugh.
(All these years later this image is still emblazoned on my brain!)
I choked down my laugh. But all I really wanted to do was bust out hysterically!
To regain control, I put my hands down on his desk and leaned over to hide my face. Every time I lifted my head I saw the hole and started to laugh. I then had to lower my head again. It seemed like I was positioning myself to stare at his crotch. This made him so uncomfortable! (Yes, I enjoyed that part of it.) Eventually he sat back up and folded his hands in his lap like a demure little schoolboy.
As I turned to leave his office, he once again said, “You are the most infuriating woman!”
I looked back at him, let out a big smile and proudly said, “Yes I am.”
He soon used to the door himself and found another job.
I learned that the best response to a man intimidating you is to be infuriating. Do nothing. Don’t engage. Just look at him.
Let him stand there and act like a jerk. Pull out a nail file and do your nails and look at him as if to say “let me know when you are done embarrassing yourself.”
Just because a man is trying to dominate and intimidate who says we have to respond?
When men try to intimidate each other they engage in a battle for power – who is going to come out on top. That’s what men do. But we are women. We don’t need to engage, we don’t need to play the game, we don’t need to go into the Blue Zone.
So, don’t advance. Don’t retreat. Stay where you are – don’t act or react based on their behavior. Show their behavior is powerless.
Take a line from Macbeth – “full of sound and fury signifying nothing.” I have mumbled that line countless times listening to men go off. There is power in thinking this way.
I love being called “infuriating.” To me it is one of the greatest compliments about my personal strength.
Empowered women know the power of being infuriating.
A few weeks after I got to my large construction project in the-middle-of-nowhere New Mexico, I walked into the superintendent’s area and found most of my staff deep in discussion about a process. A functional manager within the company distributed the process dictating – It must be followed! No one on my staff agreed with the process. It was clear that the process was written from the perspective of the functional manager and the perspectives from other functional areas wasn’t considered.
I initiated an impromptu meeting to come up with our version of the process. The men who reported to the functional manager were concerned about not following the dictated process but I told them not to worry about it – my job was to sell our process to the larger group of senior managers and explain why it is better.
I then asked what other processes we needed to look at and boy, did I open a can of worms! I decided to formalize my Process meeting. (more…)
I tell women to learn their company’s operating and management systems as a foundation for building a success career. But most women (and men) have never been taught how to think in terms of systems or how to map out processes so my advice may seem daunting.
If you took the initiative to search the web you may have been overwhelmed. Mapping processes seems complicated! There are symbols that you use to create diagrams to convey specific functions. The experts have names that require you to twist and contort your mouth in an attempt to pronounce. And it seems everyone has a PhD.
But the reality is that you don’t have to make it complicated for most of your purposes. No one needs to be well versed in systems or processes design. Here’s how I got a project started on mapping its processes. (more…)
When you are a woman entering a traditionally male role you will be focused on your relationships with your male peers and supervisors. But you also need to focus on your relationships with your female co-workers in traditional jobs. You may assume that the women in the office will be cheering for your success however your presence may be as uncomfortable for them as it is for the men. (more…)
We are told that to rise to the top 1% you have to be very aggressive…cutthroat even. A week ago two billionaires –Carl Icahn and Bill Ackman – went at each other live on CNBC. It was re-aired several times, billed as the “Clash of the Titans” or “The Battle of the Billionaires”. It was ugly. Commentators decided that the battle was very personal. Is this the type of confrontation that they believe keeps women from getting to the top? Do personal attacks make you recede and give up?
During my construction career I witnessed a lot of these “battles” and have participated in my share of them. It is one of the things I hated the most about my job! They wore me down and frustrated me because I thought they were just a plain stupid waste of time and energy. I had more important things to deal with than arbitrary posturing. Eventually I learned better ways to react to these incidents. (more…)
I came up with the concept of Swamp Wars about two years ago. It stemmed from my work experiences and for a while I thought it was unique to my industry because we have so many classic Alligator Slayers. But as I wrote this series of articles (Swamp Wars and The Rachel Letter) the national political conventions were held and politics fills the “news” media. Over the past year, I’ve seen huge similarities between what I experienced at work and what I see happening in our politics. I am now convinced that Swamp Wars is more than just my unique work experience – it is part of our society. Swamp Wars is a recent phenomenon and something women need to understand because it is having a significant impact on our ability to advance at work. (more…)
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I tell women to learn their company’s operating and management systems as a foundation for building a success career. But most women (and men) have never been taught how to think in terms of systems or how to map out processes so my advice may seem daunting.