Author: admin1

How Girls Can Be More Like Boy Scouts
Every so often I see a news story about girls who want to join the Boy Scouts. Most of the stories are presented from the angle of the Boy Scouts not being inclusive and questioning why girls can’t join. My response has usually been to question why the girls don’t join the Girl Scouts. I couldn’t imagine that the programs would be drastically different.

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Boy was I wrong!

Following a discussion with a friend I went onto the Boy Scout website to look at their program. I found the page listing the merit badges. http://www.scouting.org/meritbadges.aspx

The first badge American Business immediately caught my attention. I was curious what boys had to do to earn the badge. I was impressed. Here are just some of the requirements:
- Explain four features of a free enterprise system and how the Scout Oath and Scout Law apply.
- Describe the industrial revolution, 5 important people from it and what they did.
- Explain how changes in interest rates, taxes and government spending affect the flow of money into or out of business.
- Explain how a proprietorship gets its capital.
- Name five kind of insurance useful to business and describe their purpose.
- Pick two or more stocks and request the annual report. Explain how to use it to manage your investments.
- Run a small business involving a product or service for at least three months. Explain why it is needed. Keep records showing the costs, income and profit or loss.
I wondered if the Girl Scouts had a similar badge so I went to their website. http://www.girlscouts.org/content/dam/girlscouts-gsusa/forms-and-documents/our-program/Badges/BadgeList_2016.pdf

One of the first badges that caught my eye was Eating for Beauty which girls in 6^th, 7^th and 8^th grade can earn. This set me off onto a rant about how this is 2016 and this sounded like the exact opposite message 12 year old girls should get! Shouldn’t there be badges encouraging girls at this age to like math, science or technology?

As I continued scanning through the Girl Scout badges I noticed they seemed to represent safe, traditional or noncontroversial roles for girls – art, cooking, environment, advocacy and diplomacy. These still appear to isolate women roles to family, beauty, fashion, domesticity and charitable work.

Where is the Girl Scout counterpart to the Boy Scout’s American Business badge?

Where are the badges that force girls out of their comfort zones to challenge and prepare them to take their place in their community, workplace and society on par with men?

Where are the badges that will help girls close the gender wage gap?

In comparison the Boy Scout merit badges produce well-rounded boys. Of course they have badges for Engineering, Electronics, Chemistry, Surveying, Robotics etc. etc. But they also have badges for sports, artistic pursuits and practical skills.

This is how I expected the Girls Scouts badges to be. I decided to look into the Cookie Program because that is what I see the Girl Scout TV commercials promote.

I thought that the Cookie Program would be how the Girl Scouts taught girls to be business women. But after digging around on the website I didn’t find anything that led me to believe that the Cookie Program had any real depth to it. The girls simply decide how many cookie boxes they will sell, how they will sell them and agree on how to spend the money.

The short-coming of the Cookie Program is that it leaves too little for the girls to do. Unfortunately for the girls, Girl Scout cookies have huge brand recognition and are an annual American event. The cookies literally sell themselves. The girls miss out on creating a business idea; determining its viability; marketing, selling and promoting their business and then providing the product or service themselves. They don’t experience running a small business in its entirety like a Boy Scout.

The Girl Scout website says the Cookie Program teaches girls Money Management –“I make change happen.” While that may be a cute play on words, learning how to make change prepares a girl to be a minimum wage cashier, not a successful business owner.

I know I am being critical but it is because I see the Girls Scouts perpetuating a pattern I see in many women’s groups. All too often women pick the low hanging fruit and then we cheer and congratulate ourselves as if we just changed the world. But in comparison to men we accomplished very little.

For example, a group of girls are going to bake apple pies. But instead of getting apples from the grocery store they get to go to the orchard and pick the apples. When they get there they only pick the low hanging fruit – the fruit they can reach from the ground. A girl wants to climb the tree to get more apples but is told it isn’t safe and to come down. The girls collect a bushel of apples and are proud of their big out-of-the-kitchen accomplishment of picking apples. They cheer, hug and congratulate themselves. Then they return to the kitchen and make 5 pies.

Meanwhile a group of boys are told they are going to the orchard to pick apples to they can make pies. The boys climb the trees and pick every apple they can safely reach. They collect 12 bushels of apples. Then because they were taught to produce, they go into the kitchen and make 40 pies and 25 jars of applesauce.

The women’s 5 pies pale by comparison.

As women it is time for us to be honest with ourselves.

The real reason we aren’t reaching parity with men is because we are still playing it too safe but pretend we aren’t. We create feel good moments that allow us to hide, mask or ignore what we aren’t accomplishing. We tell girls to make pretty boxes to for their apple pies and that will make their pies better than the boys’. We ignore the fact that the girls can earn $50 for selling their pies and the boys $400 plus $125 for the applesauce.

We change the subject so we can deliberately miss the point that we didn’t challenge the girls to go beyond what is safe, easy, non-challenging, nonthreatening and noncontroversial. If you really listen to women you find we have this down to an art form.

What would happen if we told the girls to climb the trees to pick more apples?

Some girls would scurry right up the tree and then reach down and help the other less confident girls climb the trees. The girls would help each other feel safe and secure as they reach for the furthest apples. They would pick 14 bushels of apples. Then they would work together to carry and load all the bushels into the car. Once in the kitchen they would make 48 pies and 32 jars of applesauce. They would make pretty boxes to package the pies and decorate the jars of applesauce. They would sell their pies for $5 more and the applesauce for $2 more than the boys.

Too often we think the only solution for girls who want to climb trees is to have them join the boys – force the Boy Scouts to accept girls. But this only perpetuates problems for girls. Girls who want to climb trees are labeled masculine while the rest of the girls are permitted to play it safe. It perpetuates the myth that “girls” can’t do the same things or achieve as much as boys – that “real girls” need to play it safe and have boys do things for them.

We have to stop protecting girls from discovering their own capabilities. Just because girls aren’t part of the Boy Scouts doesn’t mean that girls (and women) can collect their own merit badges such as:
- I Figured it Out
- I Didn’t Want To Do It But I Did It Anyway
- I Didn’t Know I Could Do That
We have to encourage girls to figure out their own ways of doing and achieving. Then they can collect my favorite merit badge:

The Guys Do It That Way But I Did It This Way and I Got Better Results

Challenging ourselves to do more and be more is one of the greatest human experiences. It is time to include all girls and women in that experience.

Empowered Women Challenge Themselves

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July 19, 2016
What a Secretary Taught a Female Engineer

When I went into the Air Force as an engineering officer in 1982 my first reaction to my new workplace was: “What the Hell? I thought you guys knew what you were doing!”

http://www.123rf.com/photo_35506381

My reaction came from the perspective of a young woman raised at a time when society believed men excelled in business… and women were housewives because they couldn’t.

Given this perspective, I naively expected that since men “excelled in business” that everything would be thoroughly planned out, then flawlessly executed. I expected men to run their workplace like Martha Stewart hosting a dinner party. But much to my dismay, the male-dominated workplace functioned more like a housewife who burned dinner every night.

Being a natural efficiency freak I wasn’t prepared for the amount of chaos and crisis management that was accepted as standard operating procedure. While women were expected to fit into and conform to how men functioned, I didn’t want to fit into my male colleagues’ chaotic way of doing things. I wanted to function better.

I needed to talk to a woman with experience in the workplace and have her explain how it functioned to me. But, there were no senior professional women or senior female Air Force officers. The only women with years of experience in the workplace were secretaries.

Could I talk to them?

Or, would I lose credibility as an engineer and an officer?

Watching my male colleagues for a clue, I concluded that since they seldom talked to the secretaries, I should be careful.

I found myself in an uneasy quandary but luckily the Air Force provided me an opportunity to get what I needed.

The Air Force said its mission was to “Fly and Fight” but the sarcastic joke was that the real Air Force mission was to “Fly and Write.” Everyone was expected to write, even my fellow engineers who had horrific writing skills which were only surpassed by their even more atrocious spelling. Because my squadron had so many bad writers we had a rule: Nothing left our squadron until it was reviewed and approved by the Squadron Commander’s secretary Marian.

Marian wasn’t like the secretaries we see portrayed on TV. She was a smart, professional executive secretary with a Bachelor’s degree in English. She was my commander’s unmistakable right hand on all administrative matters for which she was grossly underpaid.

As the new 2^nd Lt. I was delegated a lot of writing assignments. After turning a few draft documents into Marian for review she reported to my Squadron Commander that I could write. And spell! Word quickly spread that there was ONE BIG difference between male and female engineers – female engineers can write. As a result I was given even more writing assignments.

Those writing assignments gave me cover to talk to Marian anytime I wanted.

As the Commander’s secretary Marian had all the inside information. By talking to her I got the first-hand account of what went on in meetings I was too junior to attend. Needless to say what Marian told me was often quite different than what filtered down to me through the workplace hierarchy.

One day the higher ups held a meeting on a very important issue. Afterwards I went to see Marian to get the scoop on what was said. She told me what they discussed and the course of action they decided on. Then with absolute certainty she said the words that forever changed my career: “But it won’t work.”

What does she mean that it won’t work? How does she know? She’s not an engineer or a facilities management professional – she’s just a secretary with an English degree!

Marian then went on to explain the holes in their plan – the things they didn’t discuss or consider. It was the holes that would cause their plan to fail. (Weeks later she was proved right)

Listening to Marian I realized she was seeing the same problem in her meetings that I was dealing with, with my male peers: Poor Planning.

My fellow 2^nd Lt.’s and I were routinely given special projects to work on as a group. And true to stereotype I had one of those loud mouth male colleagues who thought he knew it all. On our first project he dismissed my concerns about his plan and we wound up doing the project his way. The project quickly became a disaster as my concerns came to fruition. Though we pulled it out in the end, I was not a happy camper fixing problems I knew could have been prevented.

Our second project followed the same scenario with the loud mouth taking over. I tried to get some of my other male colleagues to take him on with me but it didn’t work. This time however, I was smarter and got with a couple of my colleagues to develop a recovery plan for what I knew would be the problems. When disaster hit, we put our recovery plan into action.

On our third project, the loud mouth again assumed he was in charge again until I stood up and said “We’ve done it your way twice and both times were a disaster. We aren’t doing it your way anymore.” I then took over the meeting and we collaborated on how to do our project. Both that project and the next were great successes.

Up until Marian said “It won’t work” I attributed my desire for collaboration and detailed planning to me being a slightly more OCD engineer than my male peers. I suddenly realized it wasn’t an engineer thing. It was a woman thing.

My perspective changed dramatically. Maybe there were more differences between male and female engineers than better writing, spelling and communication skills. But what??

This realization set Marian and I off on a new mission to find out how men and women differ in the workplace. Given her lack of opportunity she was very committed to helping me advance. She gave me the support to feel like I didn’t need to become one of the guys; I didn’t need to conform to how the guys did things. I could be different. I could be a woman, I could be me.

I will always remember the day she literally pushed me out of her office like a mother bird pushing her young out of the nest to fly. She pointed me down a different path from my male colleagues and told me to go walk it.

For over 30 years I’ve stayed on that path. Along the way I discovered that women bring many different but highly beneficial qualities to the male-dominated workplace. I learned that women aren’t meant to fit into the male-dominated workplace, they are meant to transform it into something better, more productive and more profitable.

Even though Marian was “only a secretary” she was one of my most influential mentors. She kept me from being absorbed into the all-male culture which has either driven so many female engineers out of the profession or held them back. By walking the path she encouraged I discovered how women can succeed in the male-dominated workplace by being themselves. And I am now able to share that information with other women.

So, on behalf of myself and many other women all I have left to say is: Thanks Marian!

Empowered Women Walk Their Own Path

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July 6, 2016
What a Mary Kay Lady Taught a Female Engineer

I often see it cited that one reason women aren’t advancing in the male-dominated workplace is because women don’t have enough female role models. I always question how much of a factor this really is because I never had an older woman in my profession to be my role model. I don’t know if a professional role model would have made any difference or would have made anything easier.

http://www.123rf.com/photo_42256454

Whenever we discuss the value of role models we have to first think about what it is we expect from our role models. From the media it seems role models are little more than cheerleaders who motivate and validate that “Yes, someone like me can make it in this career field!” I always thought the idea that I needed to resemble someone else in the workplace in order to know my value was an absurd notion because I saw my uniqueness as an advantage.

To me role models should do more than validate that it is okay for us to be in a role. To me they should challenge our perceptions. They should open us up to new perspectives and help us grow personally and professionally. Given that,our role models can come from a variety of places including some very unexpected places.

Back in 1982 when I began my career as an Air Force 2^nd Lt, the highest ranking female officers on my base were 1^st Lt.’s. There were no female senior officer role models because most women left military service once they became pregnant. This was so prevalent that the Air Force didn’t even have a maternity uniform for the few women that stayed in. Female service members were simply expected to get out and become “Dependents” – the official name for spouses and children of military servicemen.

I was also an engineer and there weren’t any female engineer role models to be found either. In my town there were 2 other female engineers but both of them also graduated in 1982. One of my fellow female engineers was an Air Force officer too who joined my squadron and the other worked for the Corps of Engineers. We were told that there were a couple of other female engineers in a town 200 miles away. When we looked them up we discovered one had already left engineering and the other was only about 3 or 4 years older than us.

Given my situation, I fully understand how it feels to be the odd duck in your workplace. The only person I could completely relate to was the other female engineer in my squadron. She and I became good friends and together we quickly changed a lot of misperceptions about women in the Air Force and women as engineers. We forged our own path and our reward was a lot of self-confidence and a strong sense of self.

So today when I read about women needing role models I question if in return they are missing out on the self-confidence and sense of self we gained. Looking back It isn’t a trade-off I would want to make.

Even though there were no older female officers or engineers, I still managed to find both a female role model and a female mentor in women who came from a much more traditional background. These women were my squadron commander’s secretary and his wife.

My first squadron commander was a strong leader and by far the best squadron commander I had in the Air Force. From him I learned that strong men surround themselves with strong people, including strong women.

His secretary, Marian became my mentor. I will always credit her with teaching me to see the male-dominated workplace from a female perspective. She is the one who pushed me down this path of figuring out how women improve (not merely fit into) the male-dominated workplace. (More on Marian in my next article)

However, it was my commander’s wife Mary who became my role model on how to be a businesswoman. She was a Mary Kay lady.

On the surface a Mary Kay lady who lives in the traditional feminine world of make-up and skin care seems a world apart from a female engineer and Air Force officer. But Mary smashed the traditional image of a non-working military officer’s wife who lives her life to support her husband’s military career.

You see, Mary wasn’t just an average Mary Kay lady.

She was the TOP Mary Kay Lady. As in the #1 Mary Kay lady.

Mary had Mary Kay’s largest and most profitable global network of consultants. She had a global empire before most male CEO’s even knew what globalization was!

Of course she drove the infamous pink Cadillac. But what made everyone take notice was that she earned more money than her husband. A lot more. The rumors around base as to how much she made were staggering. When the average household income was about $24,000 per year, it was rumored that she was a self-made millionaire.

Mary was a role model to many Air Force wives and she helped many other women become wealthy too. We openly joked that the husband of any woman working with Mary better be comfortable with the idea that his wife would be making more money than him. We quietly joked that my squadron commander held counseling sessions for such husbands.

To me, Mary represented the ultimate successful powerful business woman.

She also became my role model for a military officer’s wife.

When I went into the Air Force I wasn’t just an officer, I was married to another officer so I was also an officer’s wife. This was still a fairly rare – there were only 5 female Air Force officers married to other officers on my base. Within my squadron and wing, being a married female officer wasn’t a big deal because Mary already smashed all traditional perceptions about being an officer’s wife. When she talked to me about being an officer’s wife the first thing she said was “I don’t bake cookies.” (Blasphemy!) She also rarely attended wives luncheons and social events. She couldn’t, she has a business empire to run.

http://www.123rf.com/photo_34154137

However within my husband’s squadron and wing, they had a much more traditional view of a wife’s proper role. When they found out that I was an engineer, I got the polite “That’s nice.” But when I showed up to a luncheon in my Air Force uniform, the temperature in the room dropped precipitously. I had to outside into the -25 degree wind chill to warm up.

After such an icy reception I didn’t attend another wives’ event for 12 years. And according to Mary that was fine because I had more important things to do. I had a career to work and my own money to make.

Unfortunately I was only around Mary for one year before her husband got transferred. But her influence always remained.

When I got out of the Air Force and began working in the civilian sector, I copied Mary. I wanted to look like her version of a businesswoman and not what society said I should look like.

Mary was always impeccably dressed, even at the grocery store. She never looked frumpy like some officer’s wives who wore oversized denim jumpers. Mary dressed like a feminine businesswoman. She didn’t follow the Dress for Success prescribed businesswoman attire of a black, gray or navy suit with 2” pumps that was society thrust upon women as the ideal. Mary wore dresses or slacks that showed off her figure. She wore 3” heels. She had colorful accessories. She never looked drab, boring or unisex. She looked like a successful woman.

Following Mary’s example, I indulged in my desire for really nice clothes. After wearing matronly uniforms for 10 years, I wanted to look young and feminine. I bought colorful, stylish and well-tailored business clothes. I wore 3+” heels. My skirts were almost scandalous at 1-2” above my knee. I dressed to make myself feel good. And my copy of Dress for Success was tossed into a bottom drawer and forgotten.

Many years later when I became a Commander’s wife, Mary still served as my role model. By then the Air Force had dropped its unwritten policy that officer’s wives shouldn’t work so they could support their husband’s careers. Too many military families including senior officer’s families were struggling financially and most wives had no choice but to work. All too often they wound up in low paying jobs even though they had a degree.

I was working as a project manager for a company that constructed military family housing. This was something I was very passionate about because as a former engineering officer and military spouse I was acutely aware of the extremely substandard condition of military housing. I knew how important replacing the old housing was to supporting our military families.

One day my husband came home and said his boss asked him about me. His boss “noted” that I seldom attended wives functions on base and I didn’t routinely gather all of the wives in my husband’s squadron in our home for hen parties. My husband simply told him I worked.

I looked at him and said “Did you tell him what I do?”

“No.”

Mary’s statement “I don’t bake cookies” from long ago reverberated in my head and sent me off into rant. “You should have! I don’t go to luncheons because I am too busy. Everyone in your squadron knows what I do! If you asked any of them if they would rather have me build them a new home or bake them cookies, they would say they would rather I build new homes.”

I had my full-Mary on.

Several months later, I got the opportunity to correct my husband’s boss’s perception of me. My company was constructing his new home on base. On the day he was scheduled to tour his new home, I went out the house and waited. When he came into the home, I introduced myself. I explained that this is how I spent my time. He was impressed.

I felt like I followed in Mary’s footsteps. She set a new standard for military wives 20 years ago and now I felt like I was doing the same. I stepped far outside of all of the traditional roles that often box in military wives.

Because I didn’t have women in my profession in my workplaces, I looked around at what other women were doing and Mary Kay ladies were a continuous source of inspiration. While not every woman who took to selling Mary Kay was successful, I knew a few who were in traditional low pay dead-end jobs who found their real success in Mary Kay. They found their self-confidence and their sense of self. And that is what it all boils down to.

The role of the role model isn’t to give us someone to copy or validate us. A real role model is someone who finds their own unique path in life and then has the courage to walk it. They then inspire us to do the same.

Empowered Women Are An Example To Other Women

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June 23, 2016
Growing Personal Strength

A few weeks ago a friend and I scheduled to go on a hike up through a canyon. My friend took up hiking about a year ago to the surprise of many of her friends. She doesn’t look like your typical southern Arizona hiker who lives in Birkenstocks and buys all their clothes at Summit Hut.

No, her typical attire is a dress with heels that measure at least 3 inches in height. Her lipstick of choice is bright red. Her hair, fingernails, toenails and eyelashes are always done. She oozes femininity.

When she told me several weeks ago that she wanted to do this hike, but couldn’t get her usual hiking partner to go, I told I’d go with her. We picked a weekend.

Wouldn’t you know that the weekend we picked was the first super-hot day of the year? And we got a later start than we wanted. So when we started out it was already about 90 degrees.

In Arizona we try to take comfort in that at least “it is a dry heat.” But what that really means is that all of the moisture is sucked out of your body as the sun mercilessly beats down, baking you. And being the desert, there are no lovely leafy trees to shade you. There are only rocks to absorb the sun and give off more heat.

So about 3 miles into our climb my friend began to overheat and feel sick. We had to stop and discontinue our hike without reaching our destination.

Naturally she felt embarrassed and disappointed since she is the one who wanted to do this hike. But she didn’t look on it as a failure. She tried. She got 3 miles further than if she sat home always wanting to do the hike but never attempting.

Of course she had a facebook “friend” who had to tell her how she and her kids do that hike all the time. And she posted a picture to prove it. Then she had to mention how she walks 50 miles per week and my friend has no excuse for not walking that much. Then, just to dig the knife in a little deeper, she said she sees people much older than my friend hiking the area all the time.

Yes, there are always people who look for opportunities to judge us as weak and then tear us down further. There are always people who need to discourage us and make us feel inferior.

But I am proud of my friend. I don’t see this as just about hiking. I noticed that when she began hiking she took many other steps to move forward and change her life. I see her hiking as a metaphor for her growing personal strength.

Too often women are seen as the fairer (weaker) sex based purely on physical strength. But strength isn’t just about how much you can physically lift or how far you can run or hike. Strength is actually a mental exercise.

Anyone who works out or participates in a sport knows that doing more and pushing beyond your current state requires mental strength. Whatever our current physical strength is, is our current comfort zone. We can choose to either stay safely tucked away in it or expand it. My friend is choosing to expand hers. She is choosing to challenge herself to do more and be more. She is mentally strong.

Her facebook friend may feel superior for her ability to do the hike and walk 50 miles every week, but does she have the mental strength and courage to expand beyond her current comfort zone? Does she have the mental strength to make some necessary changes in her life?

When I began cycling 10 years ago, riding 45 miles seemed like a really long ride. But now it is a typical Sunday ride. When I decided to ride in El Tour de Tucson for the first time I wanted a challenge – I wanted to have to train. I knew I could do the 65 mile race in my current condition so I challenged myself to train for the 85 mile race. The first time I rode the 85 miles was mentally hard, especially the last 5 miles where I kept asking myself over and over again “Why am I doing this?” But my body pushed through.

The next time I rode it, I knew mentally I could do it so I pushed myself for time and I was the 10th or 12th female finisher. The next time I rode in the 85 mile race I finished 8th and met my time goal. I had a new comfort zone.

Now to challenge myself again, I know what I have to do. I have to do the whole 109 mile ride.

Mentally I am whining like a little kid “I don’t wanna!” And I have all kinds of excuses to feed my mental whining. For years I told myself that I am not a long distance rider. That feeds into the idea that I am now too old for long distances. I tell myself that because I didn’t ride for almost two years I am too out of shape and too old to get in shape by November. Besides it’s summer and too hot to train long distances. And if all that doesn’t work, my last ditch excuse is that even if I am in phenomenal shape my daughter moved to Dallas and can’t be my support during the race. I tell myself I can’t ride without a personal support team even though there are plenty of support stops along the route.

Those are all mental excuses and I know it. I know that physically I can do it – I can finish in a reasonable time. I certainly won’t be breaking any records but I won’t be dead last either.

I know when I sign up I will be whining. I know all during the race I will be whining and towards the end sniveling.

But as soon as I cross the finish line I know I will say “That wasn’t as bad as I thought. I could have gone faster.”

The mental challenge will be won and I will be ready to take on the physical challenge of improving my time. My mental strength will push me physically during the next race.

As women we aren’t always taught how to interchangeably use our physical and mental strength to push ourselves further. Too often our society equates strength with the physical and since women generally aren’t as physically strong as men, we aren’t seen as mentally strong either. We are cast as being emotional and as falling apart or crying when challenged. It is as if we are led to believe we are mentally weak so we don’t push or challenge ourselves; so we give up before we even try, thereby perpetuating the myth.

But after working with thousands of men, I would declare that most women are definitely mentally stronger than men. This is why women have the trait of Stress Endurance. We can be Energizer bunnies that just keep going and going and going. We use our mental strength to discover our current physical limitations and then expand it.

My friend discovered a physical limitation during our hike. But her mental strength is pushing her courageously forward to make big changes in her life and move out of her current comfort zone. Through those changes she will clear a path that allows her to grow in her physical strength. I have no doubt that she will keep growing and expanding her comfort zone. And I have no doubt that she will expand it far enough to meet her goal of hiking the Camino de Santiago.

And then I am going to drag her butt up Machu Picchu with me.

Empowered Women Grow in Their Personal Strength

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June 9, 2016
The Importance of Alligator Trophies

I wanted to do a follow up to last week’s article Political Swamp Wars 2016 because I got some great positive feedback reinforcing a point: When we are at work, we all need to have a bit of Alligator Slayer in us. That after all is what our employers expect – they expect us to deliver tangible results. They want us to have alligator trophies.

This is very important for women to understand, especially when they are going after a promotion or they are asking for a raise.

Have you seen this commercial on TV?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ilSeJ6B5ro

The girl wants a raise but is uncomfortable asking for it. Why? Because she doesn’t know how to justify her raise to her boss.

What she doesn’t know and what the older women doesn’t teach her is that the way to justify her raise is to show him her Alligator trophies.

Have you seen this commercial on TV?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIWcfhJ5PHc

Uncle Ritchie says we don’t need more desk sitters and status quoers. We need more Chargers and Challengers (Alligator Slayers). I can’t help but think that this is a huge endorsement for Alligator Slayers to win Swamp Wars.

Watching the two commercials together we also can’t help but see the different gender messaging about being Doers. Women aren’t confident Doers. Men are bold chargers.

As women we need to start seeing ourselves as Alligator Slayers. We need to know what our alligator trophies are.

Going back to using the Presidential election as our universal example of the male-dominated workplace, last week (May 22) Hillary was interviewed on Meet The Press by Chuck Todd. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9t1d7moOULg

Chuck Todd asked her what her “Big Idea” was in comparison Bernie’s Political Revolution and Trump’s Make America Great Again. She replied “We are stronger together” and discussed that concept. Chuck Todd then asked her “How are you going to do it?” because she is a polarizing figure (like Trump). She responded “That when I have these jobs Chuck I get things done and I work with people across the aisle.” Earlier in the interview she said that as President she would get “positive results” and make “tangible progress.”

What struck me was that the interview was a perfect set up for her to list all of her achievements – all of her alligator trophies.

She said that as First Lady she worked with the Senate to pass the Children’s Health Insurance Program and worked with Congressman Tom Delay to reform adoption and foster care. Then she said that she worked as Secretary of State “to reduce nuclear weapons between Russia and herself.” She then stated how she had favorable ratings as Secretary of State.

That was it.

She mentioned tangible achievements from the 1990’s but then for her most recent job as Secretary of State she began to falter and basically said – people liked me. She did no better at promoting herself than the young girl in the commercial!

Answers like that won’t get you a promotion or a raise in the male-dominated workplace!

To move up in the male-dominated workplace women have to be able to rattle off their accomplishments!

Our workplaces assume that our male colleagues have accomplishments because society teaches us that men are Doers.

Women aren’t automatically seen as Doers.

So we wind up with thoughts like this.

This is not how you want your male colleagues or boss to see you!

But both Hillary’s interview and the Secret commercial reinforce that this is who we are because we can’t list off our accomplishments.

I was taught very early in my career the importance of slaying alligators. So I have always slayed them. I also tie the alligators back to improving the workplace financial performance because it is the best justification for a raise or promotion. Believe me, as a woman competing with men, slapping down a big ole alligator trophy on the desk and saying “Who’s got something bigger?” is very powerful!

It forces a meritocracy.

Contrary to what society teaches us, women are alligator slayers. Given my experience I would say women are probably better alligator slayers than men. In one job my boss questioned why I paid a woman who worked for me so well in comparison to some men. I explained that in the last 6 months she returned $1.2 million to revenue that was pure profit. She was slaying some huge alligators to make that happen. I couldn’t list any alligators the men had slayed. When I asked him to list their alligator trophies, he couldn’t list any either. He just incorrectly assumed that because they were men, they had alligator trophies.

The most effective way for women to compete against men in the male-dominated workplace is to have bigger and better alligator trophies. Therefore, we need to start seeing ourselves for the Alligator Slayers we are.

If you haven’t done it, write a list of your jobs, the description of your responsibilities and your accomplishments. List everything you’ve done even if it seems small and insignificant. It might be hard at first because we aren’t taught to see ourselves this way. But keep the list handy and add to it when you think of something else.

It won’t take long for you to start seeing all the things that you make happen in a day. And when you start seeing your accomplishments you start having a lot of pride in what you get done. You then want to do more so you have more pride in yourself. Before long you see yourself as an Alligator Slayer who has pride in her alligator trophies and isn’t intimidated to ask for the raise or promotion.

Empowered Women Slay Alligators and Use Their Alligator Trophy Collection to Get Raises and Promotions

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May 26, 2016
Political Swamp Wars
Like everyone else I am tuned into this year’s Presidential race but I am fascinated by it from a different perspective. After working in and studying the male-dominated workplace for 30 years, I am fascinated by watching so much of what I talk and write about play out daily on the television screen.

In recent weeks the various cable news channel pundits have been lamenting in bewilderment: Who would have projected a year ago that Trump would actually become the 2016 Republican nominee?

I immediately jump up wave my hands and shout “I did! I did! I did! I did! I knew he would win!”

Did I believe this because I am a Trumpeteer and I have great faith in my candidate?

No.

It had to do with understanding the male-dominated workplace. While other people were amazed, shocked and even horrified by the GOP debates, I just stood in my living room saying “Welcome to my world folks! This is what I deal with.”

This election cycle is exposing what is happening behind the scenes in the male-dominated workplace: A war. Contrary to what we may expect, this war isn’t over policy positions. It isn’t Men versus Women. It isn’t Democrat versus Republican or Progressive versus Conservative.

This war is over which character in the male-dominated workplace is going to be our Great American Hero.

I call it Swamp Wars.

Several years ago, I posted a satirical article on my website Swamp Wars This Century’s Battle for Status. I first drafted it over 5 years ago to express my frustration over how my male colleagues put more time and energy into fighting and villainizing each other for status than into constructing our projects. They created petty arguments; fighting merely for the sake of fighting. Their only intention was to force the other side succumb to their position which of course never happened. After they wasted an inordinate amount of time, energy and money and put both sides into major crisis, they gave up. We were forced to sit down together and solve the problems in order to survive.

Let me repeat that. They sat down together and solved problems.

In our problem solving there were no winners and losers because everyone had to abandon their positions. Let me repeat that again too. Everyone had to abandon their positions in order to properly identify the problem, solve it and get the project done.

Like my male colleagues, politicians engage in Swamp Wars but they raised it to an art form. They want us to believe they can argue policy positions and make the other side succumb to their position. They refuse to modify their policy position let alone abandon it.

They are trapped in election cycles that are nothing more than petty battles resulting in small wins and losses – but they tease that a big glorious overwhelming victory is possible. In the meantime, nothing is accomplished, no problems are solved.

Since drafting Swamp Wars 5 years ago I watched with humor as it played out in our national politics. In 2015 when the TV pundits began talking about how the presidential election would be Hillary Clinton versus Jeb Bush, I immediately thought “OMG! They are setting up the presidential election to be a Swamp Wars battle! WWE move over! This is going to be 10,000 times better!”

Swamp Wars is all about who attains Hero status.

To understand Swamp Wars, you have to understand the 4 main characters in the male-dominated workplace. I’ve watched these characters throughout my career. In 1991 I wrote my first essay on changes in the male-dominated workplace that were threatening the status of the highest ranking and most heroic workplace character – The Great American Alligator Slayer. Swamp Wars is about how the other 3 characters try to usurp the status of the Great American Alligator Slayer in order to claim his title of the Ultimate American Hero.

I based Swamp Wars and the characters on the old analogy that when you are buried in problems, you are up to your waist in alligators. Each character has a different way of dealing with alligators (problems).

It is also important to keep in mind that in order to have Heroes we need villains but more importantly we must have problems. No problems, no Heroes.

In today’s male-dominated workplace the characters are:

The Great American Alligator Slayer (Operations): He is our classic Hero. He is a combination of Teddy Roosevelt and John Wayne. He will kill the alligators and solve problems with his big guns and larger than life personality! He’s a man’s man, hard-charging, he calls it as he sees it and runs over anyone that gets in his way. He is both feared and respected. On his office wall hangs dozens of alligator hides – his trophies – for all to admire and be in awe of. Through human history young boys dreamt of growing up and becoming the next Great American Alligator Slayer – of slaying an alligator larger and more fierce than any ever known before and becoming the greatest Hero ever known.

Swamp Drainers (Planners, Analyzers, Researchers): They believe the Great American Alligator Slayer is obsolete. They believe alligators (problems) exist because of the environment – because the swamp exists. Figure out how to drain the swamp and the alligators will go away. They know design techniques, processes and procedures, six sigma, statistics and financial analysis. They can redesign the environment and refine the swamp draining process so all the alligators leave, negating the need for big guns. Swamp Drainers rely on their brains and ingenuity not brawn to eliminate alligators.

Swampers (Nerds and Geeks): Once Swamp Drainers, Swampers broke away forming their own group. They based their identity in technology. Using technology they developed navigations tools to move quickly through the swamp’s vast network of waterways. They live in the swamp and know it better than the other characters. They compiled massive amounts of information about the all of the swamp’s plant life, animals and fish. They know where the alligators nest and breed and can provide that information to the other characters, if they want. They enjoy living in the swamp, content with their separation and happy to interact only with other Swampers using languages outsiders don’t understand. They called themselves Swampers in keeping with their newly found coolness.

Naturalists (Intellectuals): Naturalists identify with Plato’s Philosopher-Kings. Highly intelligent, they attend expensive and prestigious universities where they attend lectures and hold discussions. They write op-eds based upon other papers they read and their internal discussions with other Naturalists. They aren’t the get your hands dirty type – they visit the swamp once but it is in a guided tour with luxury hotel accommodations outside the swamp at night. Their visit merely checks a square so they can say they have been to the swamp. They spend their careers in Naturalist groups far away from the swamps. They believe possessing a superior intellect should be the only gateway through which one should be allowed to access the best information on swamps. It is through their extensive academic study of the swamp, that they consider themselves swamp experts. And in keeping with their identification with Philosopher-Kings they believe their swamp expertise makes them worthy of governing the swamp and all other characters.

In America, we love men of action. Men who make things happen against all odds. Men who git ‘er done.

In America our Action Hero is The Great American Alligator Slayer.

Great American Alligator Slayers are the men (and women) who forged our nation. They were bold and courageous. Christopher Columbus sailed out into the unknown to discover this continent. George Washington led the Revolutionary War as a General in the battle field and daringly crossed the Delaware. Lewis and Clark set out on an expedition across the vast western territory to the Pacific Ocean.

As the industrial revolution emerged, so did new Great American Alligator Slayers. Andrew Carnegie, Cornelius Vanderbilt, John D. Rockefeller and Henry Ford were just some of the Captains of Industry.

Wars produced many Great American Alligator Slayers from lowly Privates to Five Star Generals. World War II produced an entire generation of male and female Alligator Slayers, heroes and heroines. I was in the Air Force during the Cold War and part of the Strategic Air Command (SAC) which was filled with Alligator Slayers and led by many Great American Alligator Slayers who inspired my portrayal of this character.

We think of most of our Presidents as Great American Alligator Slayers.

When we had a manufacturing based economy, the male-dominated workplace was filled with Alligator Slayers and Swamp Drainers. Most were average working class men. Some were college educated. Since then technology added Swampers to the workplace. Together these three characters became the Doers – the people who contributed a valuable piece towards producing tangible products and services.

We expected the men at the top of the workplace hierarchy to be Doers – the men who accomplished the most; the men with the most trophies and plaques on their wall. Typically they were Alligator Slayers. But we believed any man (or woman) could pull himself up to the top. He just had to be a Doer who worked hard and persevered. This made America unique from the rest of the world.

To understand how unique American is, we have to understand a little about Plato’s philosophies. He believed in a society where there is a hierarchy of three classes of people:
1. Philosopher-Kings (and Queens) at the top who have the intellect and wisdom to govern
2. Auxiliaries – the men and women who protect and defend the state (military)
3. Producers – professionals and skilled workers.
Our Great American Alligator Slayers come from Plato’s Auxiliaries and Producers. In America, we allow men in the bottom two classes to rise up to the top and be our Heroes. We even allow them to be President and govern!

Where are the Naturalist/ Philosopher-Kings in our workplaces?!

Oh – they were kicked out of the male-dominated workplace a long time ago because they couldn’t cut it.

Literally!

Alligator Slayers drove them out because they couldn’t get their work done on time. Naturalists spent too much time thinking and pondering to take any action, no matter how much Alligator Slayers ripped into them. They were driven out to form their own boutique consulting companies where they could conduct studies and work endlessly on plans and papers. When I was in the Air Force, the Alligator Slayers told me which two consulting companies hired the Naturalists they kicked out and told me to never work for those companies.

Many years later, when a man from one of those companies walked onto my construction site, I knew something had changed – Swamp War was declared!

This Naturalist immediately took on the Alligator Slayers. He was going to force them to succumb to his will. He openly declared he was taking his rightful position at the top of the hierarchy.

This desire to reclaim the status of Naturalists in the workplace began within the Baby Boomer generation. They were raised with the American image of the self-made man but they were also told to get a higher education so they could work with their head and not their hands.

Over the next several decades we continued to elevate the status of the college educated, especially those who attended Ivy League colleges and universities. This elite education made Ivy League graduates the great thinkers worthy of directing the Doers. We also understood that with an Ivy League education you could bypass all of the lower rungs of the workplace hierarchy and begin your career near the top.

In our old image of the self-made action-oriented man, we respected the man who came up with an idea and made it happen. Today we respect and admire the man who came up the idea. He isn’t expected to implement the idea or lead the implementation. He leaves that to the Doers.

Today we think of management and the C-suite being filled by highly educated and intellectual people. An MBA is requirement and Doers are excluded.

Many Doers are the un-college educated or vocationally educated workforce. We dismiss these Doers as potential managers because they lack the right education.

The Doers who are highly educated professionals are dismissed too. They spent their career in roles that were too “hands-on” or too close to the uneducated workforce. It is these Professional Doers that Naturalists challenged in Swamp Wars because Professional Doers got their hands dirty and therefore were tainted.

What does this have to do with politics?

Well in case you haven’t noticed, Congress (and Washington) is now full of Naturalists – people who got a degree law, political science or liberal arts from an Ivy League or other elite university and went directly into government or politics. We used to call these people Bureaucrats.

Bureaucrats never held a real job in a company that has to make money producing a product or service. They never learned how to make things happen. In the old days we called Bureaucrats paper shufflers because they spent their day moving paper from one side of their desk to the other without producing anything tangible.

Today, Congressional and Washington Naturalists believe they do produce something – policies. But are policies really tangible?

What does a policy produce, do or make happen?

Think about your workplace policies which probably address dress code, vacation time and ethics. Do the policies tell you how to do your actual work or do you rely on our workplace processes and procedures for that?

In politics, Governors are quick to claim they aren’t Naturalists – they are Alligator Slayers. They tout how they have to make “executive decisions” to make things happen. They have to deal with real alligators such as striking teachers, crumbling infrastructure and natural disasters. They want to distinguish themselves from policy producing Congressional Naturalists who make speeches, attend committee meetings, hold hearings and raise money for their next campaign.

Governors also like to remind Senators that the Presidency is an Alligator Slayers position and therefore they are best suited for the Presidency. Historically, that is correct – our Presidents were Doers, not Naturalists, intellectual Philosophers or policy wonks.

That is up until the election of Obama, a pure Naturalist.

Following Bill Clinton’s (Alligator Slayer) presidency, the Democratic party became very comfortable with Naturalists. I credit this to Hillary Clinton (Naturalist). She used her position as First Lady to take the Naturalist out of the back shadows and assert the Plato’s theory that Naturalists should be at the top and govern.

This sent out shockwaves.

At the time most men in powerful positions saw themselves as Alligator Slayers who earned their place at the top. While we often believe she came under fire for stepping out of the traditional role of First Lady and for being an assertive woman, the real issue was that she challenged men’s personal self-images as Alligator Slayers.

Most men believed they got to their power position by trudging through the swamps slaying alligators. They had th alligator hides hanging all over their “I Love Me” walls to prove it. Now this woman was coming along and saying that their hard earned trophies were irrelevant. She said her diplomas said she was worthy of governance and trumped all of their alligator trophies.

In response, the Alligator Slayers did what they do best. They went hunting. Hillary season was opened.

As the years went on, up and coming generations of Alligator Slayers were taught to hunt Hillaries. On the surface the fighting appeared to be gender-related but all along it was really Swamp Wars. Alligator Slayers weren’t going to take direction from or respect anyone, male or female who doesn’t have alligator trophies hanging on their wall. (Very important concept to understand!)(And trophy size does matter!)

Hillary swung open the door for Naturalists to assert themselves. Because most Intellectual Elites in the ‘90’s were already in the Democratic party, the first Naturalists to assert themselves were Democrats.

For the Republicans however, the rise of Naturalists began their mass identity crisis. Republican Senators and Congressmen knew they weren’t Great American Alligator Slayers – they were at best okay Alligator Slayers. And if they were really honest they would admit that they really were Naturalists. But they couldn’t – they had ideal images and icons to emulate.

John Wayne, Charlton Heston and Clint Eastwood were Great American Alligator Slayers (at least in the movies). Then there was Ronald Reagan, who epitomized their image of the political Great American Alligator Slayer. What would happen to his legacy if Republicans suddenly elevated Naturalists?!

Republicans had no choice but to promote themselves as Alligator Slayers. (Bring on the NRA and the Second Amendment!)

With Bush 43, a former Governor from the great (and manly) state of Texas in the White House they rallied around their Alligator Slayer identity.

Then 9/11 happened.

It was a tragedy that called for the heroic valor only Great American Alligator Slayers can provide. Naturalists were shoved back into their corner or suddenly transformed themselves into Alligator Slayers.

But following 9/11 the great victories Alligator Slayers promised didn’t come. (Iraq War) Naturalists reasserted themselves. Maybe the Great American Alligator Slayer (Cheney, Rumsfeld) is an obsolete, relic of the 20^th century. The 21st century is the age of technology. We now rely on our brains not our brawn to get things done. High tech is the future, manufactured mechanics are in the past.

By the time the 2008 Presidential election rolled around the momentum was with Naturalists. The Democratic primary featured two pure Naturalists, Hillary and Obama. A woman and an African American man created the imagery of heading down a new path in a new century towards a new future led by a new kind of Hero.

Yes, Hero not Heroine. The one thing we didn’t leave behind in the 20th century was our love for Heroes, as in male Heroes. Democrats and eventually America chose a knight in shining armor on his fiery steed who was going to usher in the new era of hope and change, of intellectualism and technology. We trusted our Hero, to deliver our new future.

The Republicans meanwhile were in a state of utter confusion. The Great American Alligator Slayers didn’t deliver the big victory. Should they jump on the Naturalist bandwagon?

What about Reagan?

Confused they nominated McCain in 2008 who was a confusing mixture of Alligator Slayer (war hero) and Naturalist (Senator). In 2012 they nominated Romney who was another confusing mixture. While a Governor he was also a Venture Capitalist and Venture Capitalists are NOT Alligator Slayers. They DO NOT go into swamps. They DO NOT slay alligators. They wear alligators. They have alligator shoes, belts and wallets produced by the common masses of Doers.

After losing two election cycles, the Republicans decided for 2016 they would return to their roots, to a Governor and an Alligator Slayer. Better yet, so there is absolutely no further confusion, an Alligator Slayer with a family lineage of (Great American?) Alligator Slayers. Jeb Bush was their man.

The Democrats had long decided Hillary was going to be their nominee.

The cable TV news channels began announcing there was going to be an iconic Swamp War battle:

Naturalist Hillary Clinton

Versus

Alligator Slayer Jeb Bush

Our polarized and partisan politics worked on this battle for years and it was finally coming to fruition. Each side used polarizing policy positions to emotionally work up their most fervent supporters. They maximized the distance between their policy positions so no one accidently wandered over to the other side. Gender cards could be played. Family histories dragged out. It was going to be a wonderful show and the Media couldn't wait!

Will more Americans identify with being Intellectuals or with being Alligator Slayers?

Not that it really matters. As long as everyone stays locked in place by their by their partisan policy positions, no problems will be solved. No one will advance. Swamp Wars will continue on and it will play out every 4 years in dramatic fashion. The real winner is the Media.

The only thing that does matter is making sure one side doesn’t have the big victory and make a clean sweep by taking the Presidency, Senate and House. This would be bad for the Washington Bureaucrat Naturalists (Democratic or Republican) who won because they would now be expected to make things happen, get things done. They would have to convert policy positions into tangible action. Yikes.

Thankfully partisanism keeps the odds of a clean sweep very low.

The big Swamp War battle was all set. But then something unexpected happened.

Enter Trump.

His optics were perfect. He leaves his gilded office from up high in the Tower and rides the escalator DOWN to join the people. He begins his announcement speech and jaws drop.

He is speaking in a long forgotten language. And he is doing it in the open…in front of TV cameras for all the world to see!

Masses of Doers cheer. He is unashamedly speaking their language in public. Naturalists in media, universities, politics and intellectual institutes are horrified. He can’t say that!

What Naturalists didn’t understand and many still don’t understand is that Trump is speaking in the language of the Alligator Slayer. Naturalists don’t know the language because they don’t spend time in the swamps where it is spoken.

I will admit that I laughed at the media freak out because I speak Alligator Slayer. I learned it because I work in traditionally male roles in the swamp. It is a horribly inarticulate, punctuated and fragmented language. Simplistic words are used to convey paragraphs of meaning because Doers are too busy working for long eloquent discussions where words are carefully chosen. After working with men for so long I sometimes find myself speaking Alligator Slayer to other women who have never been in the swamp and it gets me in trouble. Non-speakers don’t understand the nuanced meaning of the simplistic words so they apply their non-swamp definition and misunderstand.

Naturalists of course believe Trump should be and is speaking their language so they believe their interpretation of what he says is correct. This is why they were dumfounded that all of his supposed gaffs only increased the number of his supporters. Doers understood exactly what he was saying.

When media and political Naturalists interpret the supposed gaffs as “–isms”, Doers were reminded that Naturalists don’t understand or respect the culture of the hard working Doer. Naturalists associated lacking a college degree with being ignorant and backwards. Naturalists didn’t understand how much Doers depend upon each other when working in the swamp – how they do risky jobs and have to trust the person working next to them. They don’t understand that when your safety or life depends upon your co-worker, you only care about how well your co-worker does his job. You don’t care about their race, gender or religion. The put downs only served to remind Doers that Naturalists haven’t worked in the swamps, don’t know how to get things done and certainly can’t solve Doer’s problems. So, Doers will listen to the man who speaks their language because maybe he does know how to solve their problems.

For months as media and political Naturalists mocked Trump, all l I could think is “Guys, you just don’t get it.”

In order to understand Trump’s supporters, you first have to understand the Alligator Slayer Creed written by Teddy Roosevelt:

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.

The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

Doers are in the arena. They know Trump is in the arena. Doers can forgive Trump just about anything because he is in the arena.

Doers see Political and Media Naturalists as the critics in the stands and as those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

This has been the difference in perspectives. Media pundits see Trump from their media perspective as a narcissistic Reality TV star wanting more attention. They probably even thought he was a Naturalist Wanna-be, running for the Presidency so he could join their elite club. Doers saw something else.

Doers saw an Alligator Slayer. But not your average Governor–type Alligator Slayer. They see Trump as an iconic Great American Alligator Slayer – the type of which has endured for centuries and will continue to endure for centuries more. He is a supreme Doer, who builds great, tangible and lasting brick and mortar infrastructure, not electronic gadgetry that is obsolete and discarded in 2 years. To the forgotten Doers Trump said what they had been screaming that no one heard: “We build great things! That is what we do. We don’t want hand-outs, we want to do more!”

(Billy Joel released Allentown in 1982 and it applied to the Baby Boomer generation. Now it applies perfectly to Millennials. The fact that it is still so applicable 34 years later speaks volumes.)

When Trump made his ceremonious escalator ride and spoke in the language of Alligator Slayer, he immediately connected with all of the forgotten Doers in America; the people (men and women) who built this country with their hands; the people who see the products of their labor rusting, crumbling and decaying. Trump spoke and immediately got the attention of every Naturalist who had been ignoring the voice of the Doers.

Unlike the rest of the management class who proudly announce “I don’t get down in the weeds” Trump said he is willing to get down in the weeds. His recent refusal or inability to change his language to be more “Presidential” tells the Doers “Now that I’ve gotten what I need from you (votes) I am not like a Politician or your manager who will ride my escalator back up to my big beautiful office. I am staying down in the weeds. I am staying in the swamp. Together we will slay alligators. Together we will do what we do – we will Make America Great Again.”

Prior to this election cycle I never paid any attention to Trump, his media image or celebrity. So as the media pundits referred to Trump as a Reality TV star, I kept listening for how Trump referred to himself. He kept calling himself a Deal Maker. It means he sees himself as a high level executive who lives in the world of money but his money is always connected to something tangible. There was a TV show “Let’s Make a Deal” and in that show the deal was connected to what was behind the curtain or in the box. Doers believe something tangible will result from Trump’s deals even if it is a goat pulling a cart behind the box. They are willing to take a risk because they see politicians and their policies as taking their money but not even offering a box or a curtain as part of the deal.

What I find intriguing about Trump is that most men have one trade they specialize in and master. Trump however is willing to take risks and go into multiple trades. He went from real estate development into media. He learned how to not only survive in the Media Swamp but to thrive in it. He learned how to use it to his advantage. He mastered the media not just as a marketing ploy but he made it a survival skill.

Now he is moving on to a new swamp – the Political Swamp. And he is finding his way and mastering it better than his rivals.

The media and political Naturalists can say whatever they want about Trump but his supporters don’t care. To them his critics are the timid souls who don’t get dirty in the swamps and would be eaten alive if they dared venture into the swamp.

Trump spent his career in the swamps slaying alligators. Sometimes he lost to the alligators in the swamps but he dragged his beaten body out to find another swamp and more alligators. Going bankrupt, failed businesses, law suits, being fined and whatever else is dug up are all battle scars. Faking being your own marketing person is taking something into your own hands to create an advantage. He did what he had to do to survive and win. Nothing in his past will diminish him because it proves he has always been in the arena. It proves he is a fighter and a conqueror. It proves he is a Great American Alligator Slayer.

The latest Trump criticism is that he doesn’t have firm policy positions and ideology – no one knows what he stands for. Calling himself a Deal Maker makes politicians nervous because they see him as readily abandoning their precious policy positions that they use to work up their most ardent fans into an emotional frenzy of support.

Again Doers don’t care because they know that in order to solve problems you have to abandon your position. You have to brain storm, consider all possibilities. So when Trump changes his mind on an issue, they interpret it as him examining a problem a different perspective.

In solving problems, Doers see themselves at point A and they want to get to Point B. They figure out the best path to get there. This is different from politics where politicians try to make us believe that their policy positions can get us to where we want to go. They want us to believe policy positions have magical powers to make things happen the way they want. But they don’t.
- Politicians say we are at A but our policy positions dictate we can’t go to B, we must go to C instead – C is the right place to be. But in the Outside the Beltway Reality, B is the only place you can go. When politicians take us to C instead they create a slew of new problems they aren’t prepared to deal with. (Obamacare)
- Politicians say their policy positions will get us from D to E. But Outside the Beltway Reality says it will take us to Q instead and we will have deal with the unintended consequences. (Middle East intervention)
Doers get this. They adamantly believe Trump does too because it is the only way he could of built his empire.

From a Doer’s tangible perspective Trump is a deal maker who makes deals to secure a project. The project is then planned out, designed and constructed. As anyone who has ever worked in construction knows, making money in construction is all about being able to solve problems quickly and effectively all through the course of the project from the initial deal to finishing the punch list. Doers see Trump’s business success as a testament to his leadership, teamwork, problem solving skills and ability to get things done.

Doers know Alligator Slayers slay problems.

This is what the TV pundits didn’t and many still don’t understand. So as the summer and fall of 2015 unfolded and TV pundits mocked Trump for being clown, I winced. I knew what was coming.

TV pundits may claim “Politics is a game of survival” but it isn’t. It is simply a chess game that you win or lose. Then you get to play again.

Real games of survival happen in the swamp and the arena. And who do you think is the master of survival?

Back in 1991 I deliberately named the workplace Hero The Great American Alligator Slayer in order to describe exactly what he does. Alligator Slayers are slayers. They eliminate their problems. Alligator Slayers don’t just wound. They go for the kill. That is how they get all the alligator trophies hanging on their wall. Great American Alligator Slayers are the supreme hunters and survivors.

Trump saw his GOP rivals simply as problems to be eliminated. One-by-one, he hunted them and picked them off. They were playing chess. He was playing in the Hunger Games.

Rick Perry and Carly Fiorina studied hard to take the Presidential entrance exam. They were eliminated for being Alligator Slayers who switched over to being Naturalists.

Lindsey Graham hung around to make the point that in order to be Commander in Chief you first have to write a 1,000 word essay explaining the difference between ISIS and ISIL.

Low Energy Jeb Bush and his super-pac supporters who thought they were big game hunters were revealed to be merely deer hunters. Killing Bambi’s mother is a far cry from being mud wrestling Alligator Slayers.

Poor Little Marco Rubio didn’t have any alligator hides on his wall. Trump told him that he needs to get some first in order to be taken seriously and be seen as a Man.

Lyin’ Ted Cruz says he is a Constitutional Conservative. (I have no idea what that means but to me it sounds intellectual and lawyerie.) He even referenced Philosopher-Kings during a debate, revealing that he is a Naturalist. But he is also smart enough to understand that we love our men of action and Alligator Slayers. So being the politician that he is, Cruz wrapped bacon around the barrel of a gun and went duck hunting decked out in full camo. Really?! Lyin’ Ted Cruz wanted us to believe he is a great Alligator Slayer by duck hunting?!?! We were supposed to blindly TrusTed that he is an Alligator Slayer.

In reality Cruz is the quintessential Conservative Naturalist who holds tighter to a policy position than anyone else in Washington. He is confused. Sorry Ted, holding tight to a policy positons isn’t “doing” something. And no, shutting down the government doesn’t earn you an alligator trophy you can hang on your wall.

With opponents like these, Trump winning the GOP nomination was inevitable.

Ted Cruz proved to be the best Swamp Wars adversary for Trump. The last weeks of Cruz’s campaign however were painful to watch because I’ve worked with a lot of men under intense pressure and stress. For an Alligator Slayer it was like watching a wounded animal slowly die. I kept thinking “Trump when are you going to put him out of his misery?” Then Trump made the comment about Cruz’s father. Holy Sh*t! I don’t know if Trump intended that to be just another cheap shot (which would be incredibly cruel) or the final fatal blow. The answer to that says a lot about his character.

Now Hillary is facing Trump. I highly recommend she watch the movie Gladiator again. Trump has already cast himself as Maximus (Russell Crowe). He defeated 16 other Gladiators and he controls a large portion of the mob. He is waiting to see whether or not Hillary will come out of the stands and engage him in the arena. I guarantee that he is ready for whatever she chooses.

She can’t take the high road and refuse to engage except on the debate stage. Kasich tried that and was drowned out. TV pundits tell her to take the high road and quote the saying: Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.

This is the wrong analogy. Doers already know that many Alligator Slayers aren’t the nicest people. They have huge character flaws but Doers don’t care because getting stuff done is more important. So this isn’t about rolling in the mud over words, it is about getting down in the weeds of the swamp to slay alligators and get things done.

Hillary’s campaign slogan “Fighting for Us” really gives her no choice but to get in the arena and fight as a Gladiator. Her slogan suggests she is an Alligator Slayer or can fight an Alligator Slayer. She has to prove herself at this level of competition. And she has to fight by herself. She can’t rely on her husband, Obama, Elizabeth Warren or a host of other surrogates to engage him for her. If she does, she will come off looking like Commodus (Joaquin Phoenix).

Hillary has to be careful not to fall into the Commodus role because it plays into the Crooked Hillary name. In case you haven’t figured out what the name means, it means unethical, immoral, selfish and greedy. It references back to the person who violates the workplace ethics policy. In construction it is the guy who awards the paving contract and winds up with a new driveway at his house. Or the guy who builds a condo complex and suddenly has a newly built summer home. Doers know who these people are. And they also know that proving it is really hard because there is no paper trail. The person making the payoff has to speak up but never will because he got what they wanted. Crooked people are loathed by hard working Doers.

I can go on and on about what Hillary is up against. Not long ago Chris Matthews on Hardball asked his panel what Trump was getting at by the Enabler label. His panel gave some really poor answers. They couldn’t explain it because they didn’t know that Alligator Slayers don’t really believe in enabling! Enabling is one of those simple words that convey paragraphs of meaning. So Chris, if you want to know, contact me. I can explain. I can even explain how Putin ties into it. (Update: If Russia did hack the emails, it is because Putin saw Hillary as an “Enabler” and that is the message he was sending.)

And Hillary needs to figure out what it means because she just played right into it when she announced she was going to put Bill Clinton in charge of the economy.

Trump fundamentally changed Political Swamp Wars. He elevated the performance of the Alligator Slayer to a masterful level. Hillary is no longer up against Alligator Slayer Wanna-be’s like she was in the 11 hour Benghazi hearing. She is now playing in the Super Bowl of Swamp Wars.

Last night I heard Hillary was looking for help to prepare for the debates against Trump. Hmmm… I speak Alligator Slayer fluently. And I was trained by Great American Alligator Slayers so I know how they play. Hillary, maybe we should talk.

Or if any TV pundits out there need me to interpret Alligator Slayer speak, let me know…

Or Trump, if you need a woman to translate for you to keep you out of trouble…I have lots and lots of experience!…And BTW I have an alligator trophy the size of Jaws.

Update November 9, 2016

Trump won this round of Swamp Wars. In the process he blew up both the Republican and Democratic parties. Does this mean he ended Swamp Wars once and for all?

Time will tell.

If he can get a stagnant government moving, get the economy growing and help bring financial security to American families he will elevate the status of Doers. If he can help all Americans learn what it feels like to achieve, to have great accomplishments or in his words “to win” he will inspire us to return to being a nation of Doers and Achievers.

We have forgotten that we are a nation of Achievers. As Swamp Wars escalated, we became a nation of words. We gave words power and made them more important than taking action and doing. We became of nation of protesters, debaters, pundits and lawyers arguing one side of a case thinking that if we won the argument we accomplished something great. But winning an argument doesn’t create anything tangible on its own. We still need to act and to do.

I hope that Trumps leads us back to being a nation of Achievers and all Americans get to experience the pride and joy that comes from accomplishing something the naysayers said they couldn’t or even better, something they didn’t think they could.

If Trump can Drain the Swamp (solve our problems) and end Swamp Wars permanently by making us a nation of Achievers, again, we will Make America Great Forever and once again be a Great Inspiration to the rest of the world.

A Personal Note (part of original post):

After a career working with thousands of blue collar white, black and Hispanic Doers, I learned that Doers judge, respect and value people based upon how hard they try, how hard they work, how safely they work and what they get done. If their colleague is a good, safe hard worker they do not care if they are black, Hispanic, Asian, Jewish, Muslim, Christian, a woman, gay, educated, uneducated, covered in tattoos and piercings or is a man wearing a dress.

That was one of the first lessons I learned about the male-dominated workplace. Understanding that was critical to my success as a woman in a traditionally hard-core male role. All I had to do to be respected and accepted was do my job well. And I did, I did it extremely well.

I also learned that even though many Doers are brusque, poor communicators and seemingly unemotional, they give an abundance of time and energy to others. It is often the most outwardly gruffest who are genuine Teddy Bears who unselfishly give the most. They:
- Give up their family Thanksgiving every year to cook and serve provide Thanksgiving dinner to their community low income families and the homeless.
- Build homes for Habitat for Humanity and renovate homes for disabled vets, the elderly and the poor.
- Buy Toys for Tots and personal items for the forgotten elderly in nursing homes at Christmas.
- Make up the volunteer Fire Department, community patrols and Search and Rescue teams. They can be counted on to respond in any emergency.
- Actively belong to any number of charitable organizations doing good works benefiting the less fortunate, sick and needy in their community.
- Mentor young women in the male-dominated workplace and promote their careers,
Doers make a difference because they value making a difference above all else.

This is a concept that is either unknown, long forgotten or ignored by politicians, political wanna-be’s, media pundits and many in the C-suite that has brought our workplaces, society and politics to where we are now. While some believe it will take an “Outsider” to change this, in my first Swamp Wars article I state that the only way to end Swamp Wars is for women to empower and assert their female traits.

There is no magical political or business Hero or Heroine who will arise from inside or outside “the establishment” and do it for us.

Change and action will only happen when women assert themselves as Doers on par with men. That is when we will create the balance and wholeness that transforms workplaces, society and politics into what we want them to be.

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May 18, 2016
How Women Can Excel Above Men in Middle Management
When I was a kid growing up we understood that when people went to work, they did something tangible. We understood what the mailman, policeman, salesman, doctor, dentist, nurse and teacher did. Then a new job emerged – the middle manager. We asked our parents what they did but our parents couldn’t give us a good description. They really didn’t know. They just told us we should become one.

Eventually an image of managers emerged. Managers were smart, well educated, and driven to climb the corporate ladder. In their upper echelon, they develop strategies, attend meetings and conference calls, make decisions, read reports, meet with clients, play golf, have two-martini lunches, drive expensive cars, live in a big houses and belong to a country club.

Since managers were selected and promoted into the management ranks, we assumed they were the best and the brightest in our workplace.

However, in spite of all of the status and air of importance associated with managers, the workforce had a different opinion. They often thought that if a manager disappeared, no one would care; if they even noticed.

Their perspective brought us back to the greatest mystery in business: What does a middle manager really do?

When I entered the male-dominated workplace in the early 1980’s I joined the throngs of people wondering what managers do and why the workplace needed them. I expected managers to interact and supervise their staff but I hardly saw my managers and rarely talked to them. They always seemed to be busy but they didn’t produce anything.

In 1987 I got my first middle management position. I asked my predecessor what he did. He showed me to my new office stacked to the gills with 102 unresolved open project folders and I realized he never knew what he was supposed to do as a middle manager either.

I began to work on my own definition of being a manager. I interacted a lot with my three departments solving our functional problems. We rewrote all of our operating processes and procedures. We tightened communication and coordination. We all began moving in the same direction together and eliminated people going off randomly on their own doing what they wanted. Our performance soared.

Then about 15 months into my job my boss was unhappy in his life so he called me into his office to counsel me. He told me that I didn’t yell enough at my staff. He wanted me to follow his example where he had been yelling at and insulting the men in our weekly staff meeting. He directed me to go down to my Planning Dept. and yell at all the planners.

At least I knew his definition of what a manager does.

So I went down and met with my planners. I told them I was sent there to yell at them and asked them what they would do if I yelled at them like my boss wanted me to. Their answer was: “We will ignore you just like we do him.”

I still didn’t get how men thought about management. At the time I was getting my master’s degree and decided the department head was the perfect person to answer the mysterious question of what a manager in the male-dominated workplace is supposed to do. In response he set me up to take a one-on-one course with a new visiting professor.

My new professor explained the role of a manager by drawing a diagram based upon Juran’s interpretation of the workplace vertical hierarchy. For some reason I immediately renamed it the Dollars to Doughnuts model.

This model explains how a company should function holistically.

At the bottom of the pyramid is the largest group – the workforce. The workforce is comprised of unskilled, skilled and/or professional workers depending upon the product or service the workplace produces. The workforce can be of any educational level ranging from uneducated unskilled laborers to highly educated, highly skilled neurosurgeons. They use processes and systems to produce the products and services purchased by the workplace’s customers.

I call these people the doughnut makers. They know how to make the doughnuts and how to operate the shop that sells the doughnuts. They live in the world of the doughnut shop and they speak in the language of doughnuts.

At the top of the pyramid are the CEO, CFO and Sr. Management. They represent the company to the outside world. They speak in the universal business language of money. Using the language of money, they can compare themselves not only to other doughnut making companies but to companies in other industries.

Since the top of the pyramid speaks in the language of money and the bottom in the language of doughnuts, there is a communication problem.

For example, a senior manager knows the doughnut shop is short on revenue and is busting some budget lines. So, on his semi-annual scheduled doughnut shop walk-thru he asks the doughnut makers: “What’s going on?”

The doughnut makers tell him about how the doughnut fryers keep breaking down. They have to wait for new parts to come in so that means they are down on fryers. Being short on fryers they have to work overtime in order to make the doughnuts. But that makes the working fryers run longer which means they break down faster. They are also short one person because he is busy dealing with broken fryers. They were so busy dealing with the fryers that the flour and sugar orders got messed up and they had to expedite some deliveries. But then the flour and sugar supplier changed their weekly delivery date based upon their expedited delivery so they ran short the following week. They need him to change it back because it conflicts with their heaviest production day.

This is the truthful answer that drives senior managers right back to their office and to never step foot in a doughnut shop again. The only response the overwhelmed senior manager can offer is the obvious solution: “Get those fryers fixed as soon as possible.”

To this the doughnut maker response is – “Duh. What do you think we are busting our butts trying to do?”

This is why the workforce doesn’t find value in management.

The real problem is that the senior manager asked a question speaking “Money” but the doughnut makers replied speaking “Doughnut.” They don’t understand each other.

What they need is a translator. (That sounds like a communication skill and something women excel at!)

Translation is the real definition of what a middle manager does.

In Juran’s original model, he said that middle managers convert doughnuts into budgets. That is true however it is only a partial definition of translation. I expanded the definition to leverage female traits.

What a middle manager really does is know how to make money making and selling doughnuts. That goes well beyond developing budget lines and tracking monthly whether you are over or under budget.

Making money by making and selling doughnuts requires understanding how the doughnut shop operates and how actions within the doughnut shop impact financials. Very simple examples of translation are:
- An expedited delivery of flour will have a $100 delivery charge
- Two people working two hours overtime will cost $190
- If the shop makes 100 doughnuts per hour doughnuts cost 20 cents to make. If they make 120 doughnuts per hour doughnuts cost 18 cents to make.
Translation begins by focusing on the doughnut shop’s processes and procedures. We want standardized processes and procedures so we have consistent outcomes. When the processes are standardized, the outcomes are consistent and it is easy to see the financial results. With experience we instinctively learn to see what is happening in our doughnut shop and immediately know the financial ramifications.

What many middle managers do is wait for the month-end financial statement, look for discrepancies, then make up stories that sound plausible to explain the discrepancies to senior management. They do this because they can’t translate.

When we become good at translating we don’t have to wait for month-end reports. We see a variation in how the doughnut shop functions and we know in real time what the financial impact is.

This then triggers us to work with our doughnut makers to improve the processes, so the variation doesn’t reoccur. By reducing these variations financial performance improves. For a middle manager this is your claim to fame.

The problem is that many of our workplaces don’t operate through standardized processes even if they supposedly have them. Individual departments or projects tout they are different or unique so the standardized processes wouldn’t work for them.

The real reason this happens is because in the male-dominated workplace men aspire to autonomy – to being independent and doing things the way they personally think is best. Standardization works against everything men are taught about being men. Without standardized processes laying the foundation, male middle managers can’t translate.

Women however, don’t aspire to autonomy. We enjoy and know how to work in groups. Standardized processes don’t threaten us. We enjoy leading from within, not leading from above and dictating downward. This makes us perfectly suited to lead our doughnut shop to map out their processes and then improve their processes.

Translation is the major discriminator between male and female middle managers. It is how women can distinguish themselves and set a new standard for middle management performance.

Translation is also what set us up to move up to senior management and excel there too.

Empowered Women Excel at Translation

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May 6, 2016
How To Get Justice When You Are Wronged

We experience a wrong-doing at work. It upsets us. We want justice. We want management to be just as outraged and upset as us but they aren’t. They just make it to go away. This makes us even angrier that this is how the system works. It isn’t fair.

We have all been there – experienced a wrong-doing that seems to get swept under the rug. But it also seems that in these situations women are treated more unfairly than men. Women get dismissed as emotional if not crazy. Men seem to brush it aside and all go out for a beer together. To women it doesn’t seem like men care about justice or righting the wrong.

How do women get justice?

Let’s go through a scenario.

We suffered a wrong-doing and we immediately have an emotional reaction – hurt, anger etc. We tell all of our friends what happened and they are outraged too. They tell us we need to do something about it. We need to stand up for ourselves. Our wrong-doer can’t be allowed to get away with it. Now we are really upset. Our friends did what we needed – they validated that we were right to be upset. Now we are very upset.

We report the wrong-doing to the appropriate person. They give us a patronizing look and tell us to calm down. They will look into the situation. Over the next few days we watch our wrong-doer. We are waiting for them to disappear for a couple of hours then come back looking beaten up and disgraced. We harbor a fantasy that they will be fired and we will watch them take the walk of shame with their box of personal items. That will make us feel vindicated. But as the days go by, our wrong-doer is happy and carries on like normal. We know we were blown off.

The reason we don’t get justice is due to a series of mistakes.

Our first mistake is looking for emotional validation by talking to our friends. (Men do this too.)

Our second mistake is delving into the drama and emotion of the situation. This is what we are taught to do because we live in a society that is in love with drama. So when we suffer an injustice we do as we were taught – we feed the drama monster. (Men do this too.)

Once we feed the drama monster he grows quickly. When our friends feed him he grows even more. Soon he is really big and fat and ugly. As we look at him we believe he was created entirely by the wrong-doing. Therefore the facts of the wrong-doing have to align with and support his existence. We then write our story of facts to align with and support his existence. We tell this story to ourselves over and over again until it all feels natural. We accept that our original perception was incomplete and our current story is true because if it wasn’t our big ugly drama monster wouldn’t exist. (Men do this too.)

When we present our big, fat, ugly drama monster to other people we want them to be horrified. We want a dramatic outcry by the masses. We want everyone to rise up and join us in our feeling of injustice. We want our feelings vindicated. (Men do this too.)

Our drama loving society tells us that if we create enough drama and enough of an outcry then people will be forced to give us justice.

However, it doesn’t happen. People abandoned us and we are left standing alone with our drama monster.

Our fatal mistake was in believing drama gets justice. In reality, we have to build a factual case to get justice.

Men and women get two very different reactions when they present their drama monsters. This is because we are taught to believe that women react emotionally and men react rationally. As a result women get discredited and men don’t.

When men are emotional, even very emotional, they are seen as functioning through the right side of their brain. To act rationally they just need to switch over to the left side. To do this, you drop him on his head, kick him in the butt or yell in his face. Men are literally treated as if they have a switch that can be flipped to make them act rationally. Flip the switch and he is back to normal.

Once he is back to acting rationally, the problem is solved. It’s time to go get a beer.

To women this makes no sense. What about the wrong-doing that initially caused his emotional response? Women continue to feel the injustice until the situation that caused the wrong-doing is corrected. Once they feel justice, then the situation is resolved.

To the male-dominated workplaces this makes no sense. Women are told to let it go – let go of the emotion and it will all be good. Women are treated as if they have a flush valve that once activated will release any excess emotion. The problem men have is that they don’t know how to activate the valve in women.

The reason they can’t activate the flush valve is because women don’t have one. That’s not how women work.

A few months ago I wrote an article about The Difference Between Male and Female Brains. In this article I cited a study about the difference in connections between the male and female brain. The point of the article was to dispel the stereotype and myth that women only respond emotionally.

Because of the connections in women’s brains, women respond emotionally AND rationally.

Women are every bit as rational as men but also filter events through their emotions. Contrary to what we are taught this doesn’t create a weakness. It creates a tremendous strength – a superpower. Women see more, pick up on more and understand more deeply. Women are tuned-in in a way men don’t comprehend.

The problem women have is that they aren’t taught to use their superpower. They are taught they are emotional and react emotionally. And our drama loving society continues to feed that narrative knowing that it discredits women.

Women have to be taught how to use their superpower to their advantage to get justice. They have to learn and practice processing events emotionally and rationally simultaneously. Women aren’t men who separate and switch between emotion and rational thinking.

When women experience a wrong –doing and have an emotional reaction (just like men) they need to vent (just like men). They vent to one person who will listen and nod but not feed the drama monster.

After women vent, they need to start thinking and gathering the facts.

Rule #1 in gathering facts is to keep your mouth shut. Tell no one what you are doing. If you need help use a neutral third party who won’t feed the drama monster. If you tell your friend, the drama monster will get fed.

When women keep their mouths shut, their superpower kicks into high gear. Their emotions become their radar. By listening to initial feelings, gut responses, intuition and funny little feelings they can read a situation. They become incredibly situationally aware.

When you fully understand the situation, you know how to present your case. You also know how it will be countered. You can then present the counter to the counter argument.

Sound complicated? It isn’t. It’s what women already do.

One of my first articles was about the Rachel Letter. The name came from the episode of Friends where Rachel writes Ross an 18 page letter – front and back. Women (and men who have been the recipient of one) know exactly what I am talking about. This letter has a powerful business application. (All men just said “Oh no!”).

Women’s ability to write this type of letter is really about their ability to organize and connect a great number of details. When those details are connected logically and rationally, we build a case that is hard to dismiss or dispute. (Maybe this is why women make such great lawyers.)

Typically when women write a Rachel Letter in their private lives they include emotion and feelings. In business those have to be removed. You want to present the facts, just the facts.

It takes practice to build the skills to eliminate emotion and present pure facts. I used other opportunities such as writing plans, reports and proposals to learn how to write and state a case. I also did a lot of briefings and presentations. For me there was two prong benefit – I got really good at business communication and I could build the detailed case to right any wrong-doing.

It also takes practice to stop feeding the drama monster. It takes practice to stop talking to everyone for validation and to start venting so the emotion is processed and can be put to a constructive use.

Many years ago I knew a woman who caught her powerful husband having an affair with his secretary. She told no one. She gathered her facts. With the help of an attorney she worked out her plan. She then secretly presented her facts to her husband’s boss. With no notice, the boss flew in, walked into the husband’s office and instantly removed him from his position. It was a perfectly executed castration that all of us were in complete awe of. She got her justice.

Women can get justice. For the most part it is a matter of not doing what they were taught – following the drama route. Their justice comes from empowering their natural superpower.

Empowered Women Get Justice.

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April 21, 2016
Do Women Self-Discriminate?
Recently I read a comment in a post:

“Women want to be treated the same as men except when they want to be treated differently.”

Then I did a double take – the comment was written by a woman and had over 10,000 Likes. Wow!

I couldn’t help but wonder what experiences 10,000 people had to make them all find more than a grain of truth in that statement. Do women really want to pick and choose when they want to be treated as equal to men?

I will admit I’ve known some women like that.

Gender equality means men and women have equal value and equal treatment. So to understand the comment, I Googled gender inequality issues, reasons, causes, etc. Most of the articles discussed income inequality and the wage gap. There were also a lot of general discussions about glass ceilings and gender biases. The articles all came from the perspective of how society is constructed to hold women back or make it difficult for women to have economic parity with men.

However the comment and the experiences of 10,000 people say that it isn’t just society holding women back. Women aren’t doing all they can to advance themselves either.

After many hours of searching I still couldn’t find any articles that discussed why women pick and choose their moments of equality. Then buried in one article I found the term “diminished responsibilities.” The example it cited was men dismissing a woman who wanted to help unload a truck. “Don’t worry sweetheart, we got this. You go on back to the office.”

According to the article if she wants to unload the truck then the men should let her. That sounds good. That sounds like equality.

But wait!

What about the other 2 women who work in the office?

Shouldn’t they be out helping to unload the truck too? Isn’t that equality? Or do they get to decide that unloading the truck is man’s work so this is one of those situations they don’t want to be treated as equals?

In the past we’ve excused women from this type of work because it was physical. However, current workplace safety rules have pretty much negated this excuse. Equipment must be used to lift heavy objects, even by men who are strong enough to lift the object without equipment. So there is no reason why women can’t help unload the truck.

Today there is no reason why women can’t do the overwhelming vast majority of things once considered a man’s job, even physical work.

So I see diminished responsibilities expanded with four applications:
1. It is men saying women can’t do something because it is a man’s job
2. It is women excusing themselves from doing something because it is a man’s job
(We can all come up with examples to fit these applications.)
1. It is women saying men can’t do something because it is a woman’s job.
(Sorry, I am having a hard time coming up with an example of this except for giving birth, breast feeding and helicopter mothers who never cut the apron strings to their sons. I can think of a lot of things we let men do but then aren’t satisfied with the results. So, if you have an example, leave a comment.)
1. It is men excusing themselves from something because it is a woman’s job
(We can come up with a long list of examples but they are all considered politically incorrect.)

If women will stop themselves from doing a man’s job but won’t stop a man from doing a woman’s job, we can conclude that women pick and choose when we want to be equals.

That makes women sound like hypocrites.

If we are going to have true equality then we need to eliminate all four applications of diminished responsibilities. We need to set a new standard where we see most jobs, tasks, responsibilities and accountabilities in terms of being an adult, not in terms of being a man or a woman.

Actually this isn’t even an equality issue – it is just a fact of modern life. Today, there are a lot of single people in all age groups who have to carry life’s responsibilities solo. Men have to cook, clean the bathroom and do laundry. Women have to take care of their cars, earn a living and manage their finances. This is just the way it is.

And yet, we are still using a mid-20^th century perspective of inequality. Too often we are solely focused on others oppressing or discriminating against women.

We ignore that many women are still sitting back, letting men take the lead and in a secondary role by their own choosing. Our society still allows women to choose #2 – to see tasks and jobs as men’s jobs and opt out.

Even though this still perpetuates the idea that women are weaker or inferior to men, we don’t call this politically incorrect, discrimination or inequality. But it is self-inflicted discrimination.

As women we have to look in the mirror and see if we are choosing to hold ourselves back – if we only want to assume the perks of equality and not the less pleasant responsibilities and accountabilities that come with it.

As a society we have to apply equality evenly – between men and women and amongst women. This means we see men and women as adults who share a common list of responsibilities and accountabilities and have an equal expectation of living up to them. If we don’t then we all wind up confused and with 10,000 people liking the comment above. And that’s not good for anyone.

Empowered Women Don’t Self-Discriminate

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April 5, 2016
Run to the Ball!

A few weeks ago while walking my dog in the park I watched a father hit baseballs to his young son. The boy standing in place missed several balls as they hit the ground all around him. His father finally said “You have to run to the ball. Don’t wait for it to come to you.” The boy started moving to meet the ball and even though he didn’t catch the fly balls, he got many of them on the bounce.

I found myself thinking that the father taught his son a great lesson that went well beyond baseball. Don’t wait for things to come to you, you have to run to them and meet them where they are.

I could understand the boy’s hesitation. Running to the ball is scary. It can hit you in the face and give you a black eye. Or you can embarrass yourself if you slip on the grass and fall flat on our face.

Thinking about my trips to the park and watching all the activities boys and men engage in there, it made me wonder how many girls are taught to run to the ball.

Too many girls are still never told they have to run to the ball. Too many aren’t even encouraged to get out there on the field and play. And if they do play and find out they don’t like it, they can quit and go sit on the sidelines. Girls are allowed to play it safe.

Boys aren’t allowed to play it safe. If they don’t like the game or don’t play well, they change positions or find a different game to play. They have to keep playing so they learn how to make things happen for themselves so they keep advancing themselves.

When my girls were growing up they didn’t play ball, they rode horses. At the barn, parents who brought their daughters out for the first time would ask me if riding horses was worthwhile. I would laugh and say “Be prepared for tears. Lots and lots of tears.” Learning to ride a horse and make it go over jumps is hard and sometimes frustrating work. And of course parents were concerned about their daughters falling off and getting hurt. “They will fall off. They may get hurt. But they will have to get back up on that horse again and keep trying.” That is the real lesson.

But are we so afraid of our girls getting hurt – physically or emotionally – that we give them permission to sit on the sidelines?

What would happen if all girls were told like boys are that they had to play and they cannot quit?

What if we taught all girls they have to run to the ball and they have to make things happen for themselves?

Isn’t that real equality?

Or is our thinking about equality limited to: If you want to play, then equality says the boys have to let you play. But if you don’t want to play that’s okay.

If we allow girls to sit on the sidelines, then shouldn’t be surprised that they are more vulnerable as women.

We shouldn’t be surprised that women aren’t equally represented in high positions in government and business.

We shouldn’t be surprised that there are very few self-made female billionaires.

We shouldn’t be surprised that women earn $0.78 to every $1.00 men earn.

We shouldn’t be surprised that women stay in a bad situation at home or at work.

We shouldn’t be surprised about the number of single mothers that are trapped in poverty.

And we shouldn’t be surprised that society hasn’t fully benefitted from the gifts and talents of women.

It seems to me that all girls should be taught to run to the ball. They should be out in the field experiencing what it is like to miss the ball, get hit by the ball and to be laughed at when they slip and fall on their face.

Only when they are out on the field do they build the character to keep trying.

And it only when they keep trying that they learn the exhilaration of running and catching the ball they didn’t expect to catch. It is only then they will hear the crowd cheering “You go girl!”

What girls choose to do with their ability to go for the ball once they are women is up to them. But with the character instilled in them as girls, they know as women they can get out on the field and play. And they know that as they play they will get better and better to the benefit of themselves, their workplace and society.

Megan Martin getting through an obstacle: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51V-cY414qg

(Karen O’Connor refusing to fall off her horse: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Du3496C7WwE

Empowered Women:

Run to the Ball,

Get Back on the Horse,

Keep Trying Until They Make it Through the Obstacle

Keep Going

To learn more about the empowerment and value of women in the workplace check out my new book.

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March 25, 2016
Getting the Biggest Bang Buck for Your Time at Work
As I discussed last week, I’ve been looking into the statements we hear about how women make $0.77 for every $1.00 a man in earns. To be clear, none of the studies show that this discrepancy is for the same job. These are overall numbers. Within the same job title I saw numbers like $0.81, $0.88, $0.92 and $0.96. Some professions have wide gaps and others are much narrower.

In my experience I would tell you women make 10 – 15% less than men just because men start negotiations from a highly over-inflated opinion of themselves. Some are laughably high. I’ve told many men “I’m sorry but I will not pay you more than me.” Once we get down closer to reality, in order to wrap up negotiations, we might settle on a 10% higher salary and another 2 – 3% more in benefits. My numbers may be a little lower than other women will tell you, but I am a strong negotiator and I don’t have wage disparities amongst my male and female team members.

When it comes to job performance compared to wage, women over-deliver and men under-deliver. I am still waiting for the men I interviewed who promised to do all kinds of things to actually show up at work.

Women are much more realistic about themselves but can easily get another 10 – 12% more than what they settle for. If you are a mother, play the mother card – because men play the father card. Men aren’t afraid to say they have four hungry mouths to feed or that they have kids in college and need a few thousand more a year. I actually did this once and it worked!

To be at par with their male peers, women should counter a job offer with 15 – 20% more than they are offered. And if you do like I wrote about last week, and tie your performance to money, you can negotiate at least 15% without feeling like you are presenting a highly over-inflated opinion of yourself that you won’t deliver.

To close the wage gap we also need to change our attitude as to which types of jobs/careers we choose. We – as in us women – have to ask ourselves: Why aren’t we pursuing the higher pay job/career?

Last year, I met with a large construction company that said they offer women in both traditional and non-traditional roles advancement, but they get turned down. The women simply aren’t pushing their careers. Many married women, both younger and older saw themselves as the secondary bread-winner and happy to remain so. As much as the company wanted to advance women there wasn’t much they could do if the women didn’t want to advance.

Since then I’ve been paying attention to the media images of successful women and I see a lot of women in fashion, beauty and home products – traditional industries. I can’t help but think that there is still a strong subliminal message about what careers and roles are appropriate for women.

Are women still ruling out jobs that men are well paid for believing they are manly jobs and inappropriate or undesirable for women? Many manly or traditionally male jobs aren’t as physical or strenuous as they used to be and don’t require longer hours. They just pay more because they were always done by men.

At the top of my list of jobs women should be in that is very male dominated is construction superintendent. This is often the highest paying job on a project. We have all been led to believe this is a manly job. Wrong! This is a perfect job for women especially on larger and more complex projects because of the high levels of multi-tasking, coordination, collaboration, teamwork and problem-solving required. But because we have a stereotyped image of a superintendent as a large, loud man’s man, we can’t picture a woman doing the same job even though she is more naturally suited for the job requirements.

Likewise, project management in any industry is perfect for women for the same reasons. And I am sure there are many other traditionally male or manly jobs in other industries that we should question: Why aren’t more women doing those jobs?

Only women can answer that question.

To me, if I am going to spend 40, 50, 60 or more hours at work, I want the biggest bang buck for my time. I look around at my male colleagues – what is he doing, how much is he getting paid, can I do what he is doing and do it better? I’ve never considered not doing a job because, oh, only men are in that job.

Finally we have to consider how working conditions factor into the wage gap. I read that men have 92% of all workplace accidents and fatalities. This tells us men are taking on riskier work that pays more. Men are also more willing to take jobs that require working outdoors, shifts, working away from home and travel. I’ve taken advantage of some opportunities to work in less than ideal locations for the extra money. I made these jobs into adventures and got some unique experiences while also adding to my nest egg. Those jobs also became a catalyst for my next advancement.

Women have a lot to think about to close the wage gap. We need to consider how much of it is within our own personal power to change by:
- Considering our job/career choice
- Knowing our value by knowing what tangible things we make happen
- Connecting what we make happen to the company bottom line
- Using better negotiating skills to get paid our value
- Recognizing ourselves as a valuable asset who can provide many missing skills in the male-dominated workplace
- Working our careers and taking advantage of opportunities
While it is easy to blame the wage gap on discrimination or workplaces favoring men, a lot of the causes can be corrected by women themselves. And that is what we need to do. After all, that is what empowering ourselves is all about.

Empowered Women Work to Close the Gender Wage Gap

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March 18, 2016
Knowing Your Value is Critical to Getting Paid What You Are Worth
There is a lot of discussion about how women earn $0.77 for every $1.00 men earn. In the short media sound bite clips we are led to believe that this is primarily due to wage discrimination and women being poor wage/salary negotiators. This is misleading. This is not to say wage discrimination doesn’t exist or that I don’t have personal experience with significant wage discrimination. However, I will hope most women will do like I did, ask questions, get the facts, state my case and get it corrected.

One of the principle reasons women earn less than men is due to career/job selection and not understanding the value of the job.

Our workplaces exist to make money. In most workplaces the best paying jobs are those that directly impact how much money our workplace makes. Being able to state in tangible terms how your actions impacted the bottom is the best justification for negotiating more money.

For example, anyone in sales or business development brings in new customers, clients and work. They should be able to equate how their actions impacted revenue.

Most of our jobs have one degree of separation from money. We have metrics and we intuitively understand how those metrics equate to money.
- An HR professional reduced annual turnover from 24% annually to 8% annually in two years.
- A Safety professional reduced lost time incident rate from 1.3 to 0.95 in one year.
- A Quality professional reduced defects from 12 per 100 units to 0.4 per 100 units.
- A construction superintendent completed the project 6 weeks ahead of target schedule and four months ahead of contract schedule.
- A programmer was part of a team that got the new software to market 6 months early.
- A payroll clerk suggested a new timesheet reporting process and reduced the time to enter payroll by 2 hours per week.
When we understand how our actions impact the performance of our workplace, we know our value. When we know our value we want to be paid what we are worth. In one of my workplaces, I was able to show how a project administrator was worth double her current salary and had a greater impact on the bottom line than some project managers. While she didn’t get her salary doubled, she did get a significant raise.

I’ve done this with other women too. I was asked to cut the salary and benefits of one of my female employees until I showed the nearly $1 million she personally added to the bottom line. I justified several raises for another woman after she corrected several problem areas and saved the workplace $1.7 million dollars. And I justified a 15% raise for yet another woman after I documented how she out-performed all of her male peers.

It all comes down to dollars and cents. All women need to think of themselves as businesswomen, no matter what role they are in. They provide a service by doing work. The workplace pays them for their services. It is a transaction. As the value of the services a woman provides increases then what the workplace pays her for those services increases. Women can’t believe the workplace is entitled to freebies.

And if the workplace is unwilling to pay fair value for a woman’s work, then she is free to look for an employer who will. As businesswomen we should always be looking for the best return to maximize our personal bottom line.

Empowered Women Know Their Value

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March 11, 2016
Why Women Are Mean to Other Women In the Workplace?

We want to think of women as caring and we hope their presence makes the workplace a more cooperative environment. As one of my female traits I list that women work in groups and we assume that their groups are cooperative and supportive. While we want to associate women with positive, peaceful and loving characteristics, we know women can also be extremely nasty to each other in the workplace. A lot of women report they have worse relationships with female colleagues and supervisors than their male.

Even though I’ve worked with 50 times more men than women, I would say half of the meanest people I’ve worked with are women. And by far, the #1 top position is held by a woman who personified every negative quality ever associated with a woman to an extreme degree. I will give credit to other women who tried to rival her Queen of Mean position, but they all fell short. And if anyone out there thinks they have a story about a mean and nasty woman in the workplace, believe me, my story can top yours.

Why can women be so nasty to other women?

I think it happens because there is a conflict between who women naturally are and the type of person they think the male-dominated workplace expects them to be. A lot of women believe that the male-dominated workplace is competitive and in order to rise up, you have to pull down. Another woman in the workplace is a unique competitor. Competing against her is not like competing against male colleagues.

Women know that being the only or one of a few women in the workplace is an advantage. We know how to manipulate situations to our advantage in ways our male colleagues can’t. This was one of the very first lessons I learned as a woman in the male-dominated workplace.

When I went into the Air Force, as new 2^nd Lt’s we were assembled into groups of 12-15 to meet the top brass. Typically I was the only woman in the group or on occasion there may have been one other woman. When the Colonel was introduced to a dozen random faces, he remembers the one that was different. He always remembered the name and role of the woman in the group. This was huge advantage.

It didn’t take long for me to figure out other ways to take advantage of being a woman.

If my workplace was working on an important proposal or report, I volunteered to use my better communication and writing skills to proofread. I could invite myself in as a team member on the most important projects.

If there is a big meeting with outside clients or senior management, I knew how to get myself introduced. I just played hostess when lunch was brought in. Setting up lunch, I got into the conference room. There is always a man who is anxious to eat. I introduce myself, strike up a conversation and eat lunch with the big boys. Meanwhile my male colleagues are wandering around the office trying to figure out how to get in.

In one workplace, a retiring male colleague taught me another trick. The women in the workplace make it their business to know what is going on. I learned how to use the network of office women to know what was really going on in my workplaces.

I’ll be honest, I play the woman card to my advantage. Some women are afraid of being associated with the stereotypes but we use them to get our foot in the door. It is what we do once we are in the door that is important.

When another woman comes into the workplace, we suddenly have competition – someone who can do what we can do. Our woman card is no longer as valuable. Now that competitiveness we were taught to have, kicks in but in a slightly different way than being competitive with men.

We see this new woman as invading our turf. That makes her the aggressor. She knows we have an advantage in the workplace and she needs to pull us down so she can take our place. This makes us defensive and women are the most aggressive when they are defensive.

Before it became politically incorrect to say so, we believed women had a maternal instinct that made us great defenders. You Tube is full of videos of females in every species defending their young against predators. They never back down. They fight to the death. No matter what we call it this instinct it makes females incredible defenders. We will be mean and defend our turf against the new woman.

There is another characteristic of the male-dominated workplace can cause women to be nasty to other women – Autonomy. Men work autonomously. Women feel ostracized and rejected when their male colleagues work autonomously and not as part of a cooperative team. I’ve seen this a lot and women become bitter. They then put on blinders and refuse to help others. Again, this is a defense mechanism to ward off unhappy feelings.

When a new woman comes in and the men gravitate toward her because she is the new, a woman’s feelings of estrangement increase. There is jealousy. When women see everyone else getting along and they are left out it hurts. Women can lash out.

There are many issues that make women nasty in the workplace. One of the first things I look for is bullying. As a manager, I’ve learned that most of the women who were mean, nasty or bullying to other women were acting out from being bullied in the workplace. Some other women act out due to abuse at home or from being abused as a child.

When women are mean or nasty in the workplace, we shouldn’t assume they are just ugly people and accept it. We need to find out the root cause and get it addressed. Most workplaces have an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) that gives employees resources for free counseling. Our goal is not to punish and further ostracize the woman but to solve the root cause of the issue so we can bring her into the team if possible.

I’ve found it is best if women are allowed to work out the issues amongst themselves with little HR involvement. A third party is used to choose sides. And if a male manager wants to get involved don’t let him! I’ve never seen men getting in the middle of a dispute between women without making it worse. He will allow himself to be used to choose one side, then the other side, then back to other. Men try to treat women like men when resolving their conflict. It makes the backstabbing between the women escalate.

While we can’t stop either men or women from bringing their personal baggage and issues into the workplace, we can change the male-dominated workplace so women don’t feel the need to compete and take down each other. Women should understand that we excel when we work in cooperative and supportive groups. If we aren’t working that way then we need to figure out why. That may sound Pollyanna-ish but it is part of our responsibility as being empowered women.

Empowered Women Ensure Women Work in Supportive and Cooperative Groups

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March 3, 2016